Mom~Mom's Rant

The anger stage....

2009-08-16T02:10:00.004-05:00

Almost five weeks ago I got a phone call from my Aunt Georgie, I only had 10 minutes or so to get ready for work, and as my cell phone was ringing, I was thinking man I really don't want to work tonight...Georgie's voice was different, it wasn't frantic, it wasn't cheerful, it was different... it was calm, I don't think I will ever get the memory of the way her voice sounded on the phone, my heart sank deep into my stomach (I have a rather large stomach so my heart fell for a few minutes before you heard the *thud*), I think my heart sank because I knew something was wrong for her to be that calm. You see Aunt Georgie carries herself closer to the way Granny carried herself, as compared to the other Russell children. Anyway back to the phone call, she first asked me what I was doing, I told her I was dreading going to work, and began to whine about how I wanted to stay home....she interrupted me and explain something bad had happened, I knew she was talking about mother, I don't know why I knew, well that's a lie I had been expecting a phone call like this for about 2 years now. Any way, she explained that mother was unresponsive she didn't know if she was dead or not, she just knew that Uncle Joe couldn't get her to wake up for work. My mind began running 100 miles an hour, and all I could say to her was "What do I do?" What am I suppose to do?" so she said she was going there so I told her I would get dressed and for her to call me when she got there. I went to my sister's and told her of the phone call....She was immediately stricken with disbelief and grief. I was tearful but calm, my mind wasn't processing or something. While at my sister's my cellphone rang and it was Uncle Joe, he was crying, and sobbing so hard, my heart sank even deeper (so now its in my colon) he put Linda Sue on the phone and Linda Sue explained to me that mother was gone, there wasn't anything they could do. So I called my brother and thank the Lord his wife answered the phone because he was one person I did not want to break the news to. You see he was her favorite, there was no middle child syndrome in our house growing up, it was the boy is the king (Im kidding) but he and mother were close, he was a momma's boy! So we rush to Leon and there she was, sitting upright on the couch with a open book next to her, she looked so peaceful, I hadn't seen her look that peaceful in years. I was relieved but I was pissed all at the same time. I was mad at her for leaving, I was mad at her for living so hard that she went so young, I was mad!

When I got home I couldn't sleep, so my new hang out being facebook, I logged on and low and behold it was all over FB that mother had passed, I got even angrier, what gave theese people the right to update their FB about mother dying, you know it was posted on facebook before I actually spoke to Jerry Wayne, had he read that before my phone call mother's funeral wouldn't have been the only one that week. I mean she didn't just belong to us, and we were happy to share her, but something that personal and sudden, I mean what if I hadn't of been able to get ahold of Jerry Wayne? How awful would that be to read about your mother passing away on the internet! All that would of done was started a vicious cycle of FB killings, because I would of killed them, then I would of updated my FB to say so, then someone would of got revenge and killed me ....it would of just gone on and on. So I tried to keep my anger issues in check.

So the next day we go to the funeral home, I hadn't had any sleep, I was running on stupidity, anger, coca~colas and cigarettes, so we began making plans, my sister, mother's siblings and myself, I called Jerry Wayne every few minutes because I did not want him to feel like he didn't have a say in the matter. So we get thru the obituary and decide who is doing what at the service, then it was time to pick out the casket. I can honestly say this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It was fair, and it made me even more angry. I wanted to have a Steele Magnolia moment when she grabs Weezer and says HERE HIT WEEZER! I wanted a Weezer to appear so I could slap the dog snot right out of them....still waiting too btw....

So the next afternoon they were going to have mother ready for us to view, I was so relieve at how peaceful she looked, I had told the funeral home that I didn't want anyone to see mother until we gave them approval, I was afraid if something didn't look right it would haunt people, I know I am a weirdo but I just needed something to not be angry about....well she looked good, so good it took me a minute to cry, I was in awe of her! Well there was another funeral the same time as mothers and alot of the family started showing up so we left and came back home for a few hours, when we went back to the funeral home, one of our cousins said "I got to see Aunt Katie before anyone else did, I just barged right in there and that guy was like you need to leave the family has request she not be seen until they approve the way she looks!" and the cousin told Zane "well I am her immediate family!" What the hell? So there I was LIVID once more, I could of shit a brick but if you recall my heart was in my colon so it wouldn't have been pretty by no means possible!

I am still mad, and angry five weeks later, so angry that I quit my job. I can't stop thinking about mother while I am at work, we worked there together on the same shift. I tried so hard to tell myself I could do it, but I am not capable. I still have alot of nightmares about mother, usually in my dreams I am looking for her but can't find her anywhere. I even can hear my brother crying while im asleep, and granted Connie sang beautifully at the graveside I just wish she could of sang louder then he cried, but there was no way possible, I dont think anything could of drown out his heartache, we all felt it, we all seen it, we all heard it. I was even more angry at mother during that moment, she broke his heart through and through. But none of my anger is her fault, she was wore completely out, and if I could of picked a way for her to go, it was of been that peaceful. I just wish we had more time, I wasn't ready, my kids wasn't ready...no one was ready.

*if you have stumbled upon this post....its more of a ramble....my mind is congested with mother this weekend and i needed to get it out....sorry its unentertaining*

Texting Among Besties....

2009-06-08T12:48:00.003-05:00

This is my bestie!

I called one of my besties this morning to make sure she was up for work...I got her voice mail....then I rec'd a txt.....

Bestie: Im up

Me: U promise?

Bestie: Yep. Gettin in the shower

Me:Send me a pic of u nakee in the shower so i know ur not sleep txting!

Bestie:Lmao...u will go blind.

Me:From what?? Playing with myself?? That is just an old wives tale...

Me:But then again I am blind in my right eye...so maybe there is some truth in it

Bestie:Lol...Shut up...from seeing too much ugly all at once...

Bestie: I am a little sad 2day

Me:Y?

Bestie:Diet...we said we were dieting 2day

Me:Well I did cry in the shower...bc i do heart me some oreo cakesters...

Bestie:I know. I think I will cry in there too. Dam it...so depressing

Me:Sorry...but guess what

Bestie:Wat?

Me:My armpits smell Ahhhh-mazing! And the chances of u getting mauled by a midget laundry lady are the upper 90% range....

Bestie: Lmao well that is a partially bright side....all of it but the midge part...

Me: well im just saying running from hornee midgets will burn some major calories..

Bestie:That it will....

Me: =) see u soon bestie!

Bestie: Okies....

One year later....

2008-11-20T19:34:00.003-06:00

November 18, 2007 was my first blog entry....and here I sit a year later, I have gone back and read most of my posts, I laughed and cried...it's been one helluva year to say the least.

Said good-bye to folks I never ever wanted to say good-bye to, but have said hello so several new folks that have become friends...but the part that as been the most awesome, is catching up with old friends that time and distance got in the way of!

I now enjoy working, I mean I have always enjoyed being a nurse, and taking care of the elderly, but when you work with good people, people that have your back, make you laugh, and make you happy to get underpaid for over working...well that is the best part.

Blogging sorta fizzled out, I think on average I have posted once a week. So what will next year have in store for me? Not sure...will I blog about it...doubtful...but I am sure I will spit something out on here from time to time.

If your reading this...I am so sorry your bored to tears and some how drifted here. But thanks for stopping by.....

Congratulations Timmy.....

2008-10-22T06:45:00.003-05:00

This as everyone knows (I say everyone because if you read my blog it means you are an extremely bored relative of mine, whom has been overcome with boredom so you ended up here) , is one of the greatest women who ever walked the face of the earth!

She wore many, many, many hats, and she wore them well. She spent her entire life worrying about the comfort of others, but she didn't stop with the worrying part, she did something about it, if you were hungry she fed you, sick, she nursed, if you were, she saved you.

I know you would think I was talking about Jesus himself, but I am not I am talking about my Granny, whom she took her relationship with God seriously. She wasn't one to put on a show either, the way she carried herself behind the podium at church was the exact same way she carried her self in the comfort of her house shoes (with her toes sticking out the ends), sitting in her chair at home. She was never ever a hypocrite. Which is more then I can say for me or most anyone else I know....but that's neither here nor there...

My reason for this post is, Timmy is going to be ordained on Sunday evening in Houston, so in a way he is following in Granny's footsteps (those are some pretty big open toed house shoes to fill), which we all think is AWESOME, and if anyone can do it, he can.

We all wish we could be there! ( I will tell you this Timmy.... Christy and I talked about sending you a topless stripper-gram to wish the BrEaST of luck, I should also point out it was alllllll Christy's idea and I thankfully talked her out of it!)

So, Tim remember your family loves you and is proud of you,

and you know if theese two were still with us, they would be there,

but I have a feeling they will be there still...

Trip to the ER....

2008-10-14T20:23:00.002-05:00

Sore throat....
Waiting on the Dr....but he is feeling really weak....
Too late....he was a goner.....
Oh YAY! False alarm!!!

Nuttin but a hound dog.......

2008-09-27T14:53:00.003-05:00

Future Elvis?

Yes, I think so!

Happy Birthday Boogie Bear!

2008-09-17T23:43:00.009-05:00

The past NINE years of my life have been amazingly complete and completely amazing.....

this is why....

I hope you had a wonderful Birthday boogie bear,

May your heart always be bigger then you are,

May your fear always be minimal,

May you never forget your way home or

that your Mom is always on your side,

And last but not least...

that whether your 9 or 90, your still my boogie bear!

Pretty, pretty, pictures.......

2008-09-15T16:23:00.007-05:00

Braxty-boy loves school, and he loves "paintin" pictures, and I love watching him re-arrange the previous works of art to make room for the newest creation.

So I am not sure if this is a brag about Braxty-boy post...or if it's a subtle little,

HEY SCOTTY I NEED A BIGGER FRIDGE!!!!!!!

Yesterday, while getting ready for work, I blotted my lip stick on some toilet tissue, and handed it to Braxty-boy to throw in the trash, he got SO excited and was saying "HEY, you painted me a pretty kiss, Imma keeping it with my pictures I painted for youuuuu!"

Awwww, isn't he sweet!!!

GO BIG BLUE!

2008-09-14T02:52:00.007-05:00

Hoss had his first home game, as a Blue Devil, today....and he got to play more then two minutes of the B game which is AWWWW-SUUUUM!

Since I don't know how to give play by plays, I am just posting pictures.....Enjoy!

He is number 61 because they screwed up getting him a bigger jersey, so there are now two 61s on the team, which stinks for Dakota the other 61 because I griped at Dakota today, because I thought it was Hoss...Sorry Dakota lol

The third graders getting advice from a 6th grader.....

Lining up....yes one of the ones facing the wrong direction belongs to me.....

Trying to make a TD....

Game over....Dakota letting us know....The Blue Devils RAWK!!!

Hoss before practice.....

One of Hoss' biggest fans....note his shirt says 67, yes we now cheer for a ghost player!

(just kidding Hoss we always root for you baby)

Showing off his team spirit at practice along with a white pencil.....

Oh yea....practice gets boring sitting in the car, so me and Braxton took pictures of ourselves...no worries this is the only one I'll make you look at....lol

Dance like everybody is watching.....

2008-09-03T22:05:00.002-05:00

I swear it's his Daddy that he acts like....

Blue bird.....

2008-08-27T19:11:00.004-05:00

Braxty-boy showing off his blue bird.......

One Sneaky Lil' Turd......

2008-08-18T17:18:00.005-05:00

Big 12 Football, is just around the corner, and sometime over the summer our local channels went out, well I haven't really missed them, but since August has crept up on us, I frantically called the cable to get this resolved ASAP! So they schedule a tech to come out tomorrow somewhere between the hours of 12:00 pm and 5:00 pm, so the boys have been cleaning on their rooms for two days now.....I know it's sad, their mean ol' mother will NOT clean it for them.

Well when I was a kid, and we were told to clean anything, I got a poop-pain, and ALWAYS had to go sit on the pot for as long as possible, well, my brother and sister had these same "poop-pains" because at some point it became the battle of the quickest, we had two bathrooms, but there were three of us, so yea, do the math. Actually these "poop-pains" were genetic, because once while staying with my Aunt Georgie, she was being all evil (not as mean as Aunt Sharon when it came to cleaning, but I was scared of her just the same) and told us to clean the living room, well Chad has this same disease/ailment/tick/whatever you want to call it, so while fighting over the bathroom she threatened to lax us up, since we were in the bathroom so long, and were both unable to produce a single turd! If I remember correctly, the living room did get cleaned before we got cleaned out! WHEW! It was a close one!!!

Anyway, I told Braxty-boy to go work on his room, while Hoss-man did his homework, I started walking on the treadmill, Scotty got on his bowflex, and after a near heart attack from my big ass being out of shape, I sat down and smoked a cigarette, and Scotty said "Where's Braxty-boy?"so I informed him that I had told him to go clean his room, well he couldn't find him anywhere, (insert heart attack #2 here), so we jump up and form a quick little search party, and begin our hunt for the wild beast.....Scotty found him......(YAY!!!!)

So, there he was, sound asleep in the corner of his closet (guessing all day school is kicking his lil tail), I think I need to tell them about "poop-pain syndrome", it would less traumatic for me......and then I can threaten to send them to Aunt Georgie's if they can show me a turd!

"Let's play house....."

2008-08-16T18:37:00.004-05:00

School is offically underway here in Blue Devil country, and the boys are excited as ever. Hoss has always had a love for learning new things, and is always sad at the end of the year, to the point he usually asks to be held back because he has grown to love his teacher so much, he doesn't want to leave her. Thank goodness Mrs. Roberts (formally Ms. Stowers) agreed to take the kindergarten position, or Hoss would of happily stayed in 2nd grade. Braxty-boy is just as excited as Hoss about school, but so far, for Braxty-boy it's all about eating in the "wunch room", playing on the playground, and getting to ride the "big bus".

We live right off of the highway, and in the mornings the boys have to cross the highway to get on the bus, so being how I am the worry-wart that I am, I always take them of the morning and then they get to ride the "big bus" on the way home. The bus driver, Mr Johnson, is a stinking sweetheart, Hoss just loves him, every year at Christmas he gives all the kids a Christmas card with a dollar in it, and on the last day of school he stops at the snow cone stand and buys all the kids a snow cone, Mr Johnson says "You can't start Summer without a snow cone!" Well no surprise, Hoss agrees.

So, Friday I take the kids to school, I kiss Hoss he goes to his building, and I walk Braxty-boy into his, I sign him in, he puts his backpack in his locker, then the teacher asks me to sign some papers about volunteering, so I start signing my life away to Headstart, and in the back corner is a little kitchen play area, and I hear my child say "Let's play house, I will be the daddy and you and her and her can be the mommies!" I was thinking WHAT THE HELL???, but instead I just signed my life over, because I am hoping my volunteering efforts (community service lol) will help him stay in Headstart.

So, why would my child be wanting to play house with three mommies? Well, I am thinking it's because he is kind hearted child that enjoys sharing, and making everyone feel welcome (like his mother DUH) or this means, he is full of his self, a womanizer, and thinks he has it like that!!! (course that would make him like his father LMAO)

Bus rides to Canada........

2008-08-13T16:39:00.005-05:00

I was awoke this morning by one eager boy, it was the first day of third grade after all, he was bound and determined not to be late, which we made it in plenty of time! I have no clue where this boy gets his stress factor (okay I really do know....he gets it from me, I am a worry wart I can't help it, let's just say I had a warped childhood and it has made me strong, jaded, and a worry wart, but by golly I'm a smartass and I just KNOW folks love that about me, but if they don't love that about me, then I couldn't care any less....or could I?)

On the way in to town Hoss was telling me that Merci (his crush for the past 5 years) had told him over the summer that she was moving to Canada, and he wasn't sure how much fun school was going to be with out her there. Well, we get to his class room, I know it was his class room because I read his name on the list hanging outside the class room door, only thing he knew about the class room was that Merci was in it, her name was the only name he was searching for. So he turns to me and says "I wonder which bus Merci is going to ride on? I don't think Mr. Johnson (his bus driver) picks anyone up in Canada." I didn't say a word, but I think I had a look on my face that he read perfectly, he then said "MOM, I'm serious, and don't laugh." So I didn't laugh, surprising I know!!!

I got back home and woke Braxty-boy up and got him ready for his first day at school ( I should probably also tell you that he slept with his backpack lastnight), I fed him breakfast, and got his things together and he said he wanted to take a lunch with him, I tried to explain to him that he wouldn't be eating lunch today, that we were only going to meet the teacher and turn in his school supplies, he didn't care, so he took them, along with his sunglasses, however I did convince him that the winter mittens he wanted to wear was a bit much. Anyway, we pull up at school and he informs me to just let him out, and give him my cell phone and he will call me when it is over. WHAT??? I let him know real quick that I was going in with him, and if he kept up the big boy act I would make him kiss me infront of everyone, he was like "Okay, momma I will kiss you then you will leave!" Uhhhhh WRONGO!

He met his teachers and was super excited, and super cute, one of the teachers Ms. Beth said "Oh, Braxton I just love your sunglasses" Braxty-boy responded "Well I don't like my eyes to get sunburned" she agreed with him and giggled. Something is wrong with her, she acted like it was going to be fun having all those four year olds at one time! LOL

Pictures from their first day of school......

Time for a 12 Step Program.....

2008-08-10T01:39:00.005-05:00

Well I started a diet on Tuesday, I know I said I was going to do it when I seen that hideous Easter picture, but this time it is for real. Food is an addiction just like drugs, and since you can tell by looking at the size of my ass that I am not into drugs, then my addiction to food should not be all the surprising.

I have lost so many pounds since graduating high school it's ridiculous lose ten pounds, gain twenty, lose twenty, gain thirty, then it gets to the point that you lose two and gain twenty, and this never ending cycle of ending up bigger then b4 I dieted. Which now makes me wonder why diet to begin with? There is a reason DIEt is spelled the way it is. So now the more PC term for DIEt is Lifestyle Change, because it is a life long battle, because you have to eat to live, but I live to eat. There I said it. I am accepting that my ass is as big as it looks in a picture

(even though I still can't believe it because I do not always feel fat, oh blah) anyways.....

Last year in March I decided I was going to diet and get into shape, so I joined a gym, and have being paying for this gym ever since, so Tuesday I went by there and cancelled my membership fee, because lets just face is, four trips in 17 months was not worth the monthly price. So anyway, I pull in to the gym, and before I could get out of the car this van pulled up next to me and parked so close there was no way in HELL I could squeeze out of my vehicle so I had to squeeze back in, one titty at a time and back out and pull into another spot which was like oh I don't know two miles further from the front door. So, by the time I make it to the lobby and ask to cancel my membership I was sweating, short of breath and red faced, then to throw salt in my fat wound the lady was like "Why would you want to cancel?" I could read her mind...she was thinking OBVIOUSLY YOU NEED IT SISTER!, but I just smiled, she smiled, I signed the form and was breaking for the door and I turn around and run smack into the chick that parked next to me, apparently she is an instructor there...skinny bitch...I swear.

So now there is NO way I could ever show my face at the gym again.

(raises up my bottle of water)

So here's to eating cardboard and drinking enough water that a whale could spew it out it's blow hole and hit the moon with it.

Cheerz Bitchez...even the skinny ones!

My MANly Man..........

2008-08-05T03:20:00.002-05:00

Do you know what is funnier then a man after he works out on his bowflex flexing all his muscles like he is Mr. Universe? Well that would be that same man 15 minutes later running in the living room butt naked looking for a flip flop yelling at me to come help him....following this same naked man in the bathroom to kill a spider for him so he can take a shower......Do you know what is funnier then that?? Yea, well I can't think of a single thing either!!!

*Editors note...he didn't ask me to come kill it, he only wanted me to come see it....apparently he and the flip flop had it under control!*

Deep in the HEART of BLUE DEVIL country......

2008-08-04T20:23:00.004-05:00

Well in the midst of back to school excitement, one of the Pee-Wee football coaches went by Hoss' dad's house to let them know football conditioning is under way, Hoss was nothing but excited, well I think in his mind conditioning meant something along the lines of air conditioning. Tonight was his very first practice, now at this point they aren't mandatory, because sign up isn't until next weekend. So we show up and he runs out there and meets his coach and I sat in the truck thinking..."Wow, He is going to be playing football, he is growing up way to dang fast!" and as much as I wanted to run out there and grab him up and tell him forget football, your still a baby, I didn't I just sat and watched.

Now I love football as much as the next gal (assuming she a Sooner Football FANatic), but here in southern Oklahoma (or probably the south in general) football is EVERYTHING, now Hoss has never had a dream of being a lineman for OU but I have had that dream a time or two. Hoss' love is more baseball then any other sport, so he was a little shocked tonight.

The coaches sort of expected him to jump off in there and follow suit, but he has no idea what a boot run is, or OSKEY or whatever they boys were yelling when they intercepted the ball. OSKEY= I have intercepted the ball so someone cover me before I get plowed into the turf. Well Hoss didn't learn this until the coach screamed it into his direction ( I will not say face, because the coach was not really close enough to be in his face, but I think from the tone, the coach wanted to be IN HIS FACE) but as for me, I was jumping up and down because Hoss caught the ball.

When they were running around theese orange cones, Hoss in all his grace (he SO gets this from me) while sprinting backwards, he fell, he did hop back up and finish the little orange cone course like he was suppose to, but the other boys were kinda giggling, this is where Hoss starts to cry (again he gets this from me), so the rest of his practice was spent crying, but he never stopped, he did everything they screamed for him to do, he may of not did it the way they wanted him to do it, but he did it, he was the slowest at sprinting down the field, but he didn't stop until he crossed the finish line, so he did exactly what I expect of him, he did his best!

So our first practice ended with the coach telling him to get out in the yard with someone who knows something about football, so we need to find a football tutor now, but hey that's okay too.

I could care less if my child is the best on the team, because to me he already is the best, but what I do expect of him is to be the child on the team that tries his best, so regardless of how many tears fell from his beautiful blue eyes tonight, but he did exactly that, he tried his best!

Erectile Dysfunction....Wilted Willies.....Worn out Weinners.....Shrivelled Schlongs.....

2008-07-29T05:31:00.004-05:00

It's no secret that I do not blog every single day, I do stalk a few almost daily, even if I don't comment. I also know, that I started blogging with the intent to RANT, because I like to gripe, I can't help it, part of it is genetic, the other part is well, like I said already I like to gripe.

Anyway since I am not really in the whole loop of the coolest ways to blog, advertise on my blog, or on any blog rolls or what-not. Which was never my intention when I started this little heap I call "my blog", some of my posts are funny, but only because my kids are flipping hilarious, the rest of my bloggy entries are me ranting, which in turn upsets folks, course I haven't been told to my face as of yet.....but stick around...I am sure I will cross a line or two and will hear it eventually, instead of through the grapevine, but anyway this paragraph isn't even my rant so lets skip on down to the next paragraph.

So I posted, yesterday about Braxty-boy and his experiences with getting ready for school, and since no one comments on here, except for the beautiful, smart, witty, and oh-so talented ladies, Christy and Redneck Diva, it was no surprise I had a single comment this morning, So, in all my glory of it being 5:30am, and my inability to sleep, I log on, see the comment and I replied, well my reply was to Christy, thinking she has a case of insomnia too, (maybe that's genetic too), but at the same time I was thinking, wow I need to call her or email her, her comment was so impersonal, not the usual Christy, so then I thought, no maybe my entry from last week upset her too, like it did the grapevine...ANYWAY....

(I swear I have Adult ADD.....)

anyway I was thinking, wow maybe it offended her too,

so maybe she didn't want to comment, but felt obligated to.

Well so tonight/this morning which ever it is, I clicked on her name, because I was still a little bit bothered by her not so personal usual commenting self, and thought why would she send me a link for school supplies, but since she is a teacher, it still didn't raise any flags, so I click the link and it brings me to a coupon site for school supplies, so then I click on her name and it takes me right back to that coupon site, and then it hit me, it wasn't Christy, it was someone named Chrystle, and since I have just now diagnosed myself with Adult ADD, I didn't notice it was not even her name. So there you have it....I HAVE BEEN SPAMMED!!!!!!!!!!

My question is this....If I rant about erectile dysfunction again, or just put erectile dysfunction in my title will I get those hideous links like I do in emails? So I am going to try it, I don't know if I will get more spam or not, but I just might pick up Uncle Jim as a reader. So let's experiment shall we???

~*~ THE ONLY WAY I LIKE SPAM IS SLICED REALLY THIN AND FRIED WELL DONE~*~

Back To School.......has been torture thus far.......

2008-07-28T01:42:00.004-05:00

Well as much as I am dreading it, Braxty-boy is starting school this year. Yes, I still want him to be my baby boy, and yes he will always be my baby boy, just like Hoss-man will always be my baby boy, but the years are flying by, and I just want time to slow down because I want them to remain innocent.

(whew that was a mouthful)

So now is all the rushing of getting school supplies, getting school clothes, and for Braxty-boy getting physicals, dental exams, and his shots updated....this is the not so fun part.

Went for his physical last month, and the Dr had to write a script for his hemoglobin and lead testing because they don't perform those labs in his office. So last Tuesday we went to the health department, with our little script in tow. We took it to the window and the lady at the desk said, "Mom, do you have his shot record with you?" and I did, so I gave it to her and she gave me this horrible look. She said "Um, he will need 5 shots today, if you took him for his four year check up he should of gotten them. Did you take him for that check up?" I replied "Yes" she went on to say that she didn't know why they did immunize him then. (could of been because their nurse quit that morning, and the Dr was doing the best he could) Of course, for once I kept my mouth shut, I know it's surprising!

Anyway after about an hour of sitting in the lobby they called us back. The nurse pricked his finger, and he was such a big boy about it, he just said "HEY, that hurts!" So I went on to tell him she wanted to see how many drops of blood he had in his finger, and he was content with that. Then she told us to follow her across the hall, and had him sit in my lap facing away from her. Three shots in his right arm, of course as soon as she stuck him with the first shot he began to cry. Now I knew he was going to cry, and I was prepared to let him cry, he was intitled that much. So finally she gets done with the third shot, and tell him to sit facing her this time, well now he can see the shots that were left to be given. Now this is the part I was not prepared for. Braxty-boy began to beg me to tell her to stop "poking" him, and then with is pittiful sobbing and sucking wind he is screaming "Make her stop MOM MOM make her stop poking me" "Oh MOM MOM IT HURTS TELL HER THATS ENOUGH ALREADY" Well surprise surprise! I started bawling too, and kissing his little forehead, he expected me to protect him and I couldn't ( I mean yes technically I was protecting him from mumps, measels, rubella, tetnus, hepetitis A, and the chicken pox). So she gets finished FINALLY! and Braxty-boy jumps up and has me weigh him, and wants to see a Dr now, and I am tryin to stop crying and tell him we aren't gonnna see a Dr. today. So on our way out, I tell him, "Yaknow, you were such a big boy in there we are going to stop and get you a prize" and his reply was "Yea Momma, cuz I stopped crying before you did"

Dammit, when did he get so smart???

Well we stopped at Orshelins because the freaking ants are trying to carry us away, not sure where they are going to take us, so they HAD to be stopped! I mean what if there isn't any internet there? I would go insane. So on our little quest to find the most baddass ant killer ever, Braxty-boy was chatting with Taffy on my cell phone (yaknow telling her about all his shots and getttin all the blood sucked out of his finger) he walks over to their baby chickens and says "Oh I want a chicken" and Taffy being the friend that she is, told him he could have one because she said so. So he picked out him and bub bub a chicken, actually they were guinneas....but chickens to him. So we bring our chickens home, and his Daddy put them in a big box, we got some chicken food and some water, and were all set....or so we thought.

Well only to add to Braxty-boy horrible Tuesday, he woke up Wednesday with two sore arms, and two dead chickens.

Whoopsie! Apparently we aren't very good chicken farmers.

SORRY BABY CHICKENS!!!!!

*The baby chickens should blame Taffy for their untimely death, it's her fault we brought them home in the first place!*

7 Things you probably already know, if you know my mother.......

2008-07-22T19:52:00.002-05:00

I am just gonna put it all out there, I am a natural born B*itch, and I have the ability to get p*ssed and stay that way a very long time. Shocking I know...but I don't call this Mom~Mom's Rant for no reason! I know I could use better wordage then B*tch and p*ssed, but urinated off just seem to corny, even for me, and I love me some corn....

So anyway, here are 7 things about my mother that either you do or don't know about my mother........

1. She is the first born of the greatest woman that ever lived.

2. She would give you the shirt right off of her back, if you asked for it.

3. She has made approximately 80 burp cloths in the last two months.

4. She works approximately 56 hours a week and has done it for almost 19 years now.

5. She can in one sitting go into a casino with her 56 hours of pay, and leave without a single dime in her pocket.

6. She can cough, burp, fart, sneeze , yawn, pee and fart again all within the same 10 seoncds, while in a public place and not bat an eye.

7. Deer are attracted to her, which is usually very unfortunate for the deer, if they don't run out in front of her car, they are ramming into the side of it while she is driving 70 mile an hour down the highway, but no worries she never texts while driving, but she does read romance novels while at the wheel.

So what is my reasoning for this post? Well I would just like to point out, that her children know her faults as well as her grandchildren, they don't call her Nanny-bingo for nothing, except for Braxty-boy who calls her Nanny-Doe (which is still fitting) but inspite of her ways, she is still our mother and we love her. She is doing all sorts of good for the family, she is personally paying the Native Americans back in Oklahoma for their land that was taken from them, I know you probably don't want her driving or riding in your car, because of # 6 or 7, but just be lucky someone hasn't already asked her for #2, or she would be peeing in you seat, gunning down deer on her way to the casino and be topless. So thank your lucky stars you have had her in your life.
Or you can just stop b*tching about her to me , because you can't tell me anything that I don't already know about her.
I love you mother, even if you're not as Fat&Sassy as you used to be...your still you to your kids.

Happy 4th Birthday Braxty-Boy!!!!

2008-06-17T22:26:00.016-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRAXTY-BOY!!!!

Let me show ya how you started out......

This is me and Bub-bub the morning the doctor came in to say, that "today's the day!" Of course I wasn't smiling at the time, actually I was bawling my eyes out, I was afraid of all the complications of you arriving so early. Since your mother isn't the smartest of people, and I didn't realize then that you were all about doing things your own way, and at your own pace. (Conception should of been my very first hint). I was terrified, one big bucket of nerves...just like your daddy! It was about 7:00 am when they said, they would take you at noon, so we called the family, they all arrived, all thrilled and excited, but I just kept crying, praying, and hoping they knew what they were doing. After being there for a week, and my asking everyday to see the neonatologist, I finally told the nurse I would NOT consent to surgery until I spoke with them, I had so many unanswered questions, so around 1:30pm that after noon Dr. Berry came in, who I swear to goodness was Drew Carrey's twin brother (which scared me a little bit, it was kinda hard for me to take him seriously at first) So I asked him what I was I suppose to expect, so he proceeded to give me statistics, and since your weren't an African American girl, I was getting more worried by the minute. Everyone else had gone down to the cafeteria for lunch so thank goodness Taffy showed up, because she is so much better at asking questions, I guess my nerves got the best of me. So she asked him about your vision and hearing because they were going to take you the week they were to develop. So again I started crying even more, he said " I don't anticipate any problems, just because your measuring at this gestational age, he could be small because of your blood pressure, at some point the blood exchange is so forceful, he could be deprived of the nutrients he needs to be the size he ought to be for this age" So now the guilt sets in, was I starving you? Were you deprived? I haven't even told you no yet! So then he went on to say, best case scenario is you will be home in a month, worst case you will have to be here a few months. He told me he could take care of you as long as you could breath okay, and since I had already had two rounds of steroids to strengthen your lungs that he didn't anticipate that, but if so, you would be moved to another hospital, because they did not do ventilators here. He actually made me feel better, and I had alot of faith in him by the end of our conversation, even if I couldn't get past the idea of Drew Carrey being responsible for your life. We agreed to proceed, so after being prepped and every ones nerves on end, at 8:00 pm they took us back to surgery. Although I was numb, once the doctor went in to get you, it was the most ungodly feeling I have ever felt in my life, it was so unnatural, but your dad kept telling me it was going to be fine, and Dr. Barry kept reassuring me what I was feeling was 'normal" (well let someone go elbow deep in his gut, then we will chat Drew Carrey Okay???), after 11 minutes of tugging and pulling, there was this high pitch sound, it almost sounded like a little kitten crying, and omg you were so pretty, I just cried and cried, Dr Barry brought you over to me so I could see you sweet little face, and I kept saying, "He is so small, is he okay?" they weighed you, 3lbs 10oz, 17 inches long, and such a pitiful cry. Dr Barry wrapped you up, told dad to follow him, and your dad being the excited nut he was, was saying "Oh my god baby, its a boy, He's so pretty, it's a boy" Gosh he was proud, looked like a rooster walking out behind Drew Carrey.

Your first picture.....

I had to stay on an IV for 24 hours, so I wasn't allowed to see you until the next night, which was probably the longest 24 hours of my life, I was in so much pain, and the nurse's probably thought I was a pain, but I didn't care I wanted to see you, I wanted to know how you were doing, Of course I got updates, from everyone else in the family on how you were, but it wasn't the same, I think at times it only made it worse, I wanted to be with you....mean ol' nurses!

So FINALLY 24 hours pass, they say I can get out of bed, so I jump up, which was a bad idea since I was basically cut in half, but I didn't care how much it hurt, I just wanted to get to you, so your Nana pushed me to the NICU in my wheelchair, I scrub in and she takes me to your incubator, you were so tiny and precious, I opened the little arm window of the incubator stroked your little head and told you hello, and your eyes popped open, and Nana said "Oh wow, he hasn't opened his eyes since he was born", since we were all wondering about his hearing and vision, so again I bawled (see the pattern here?) They asked me to leave the NICU to go to my new room, but when I came back the nurse said, that I could hold you....SURPRISE I am bawling again....

Your little hand couldn't even wrap all the way around my finger, but that's okay because I was wrapped around yours.

Your Bub-bub got to hold you too, he was SO proud of you, he couldn't say Braxton so he called you "Braskins"

Of course daddy was proud of you, he called you his little "Glo-worm"

You may have looked like a little Conehead, not because of the shape of your head, but by the shape of your butt, you didn't have enough meat on you to make butt cheeks, but you had your own personality, don't think I didn't notice you rolling your eyes at me when I kissed you in the picture!

After 2 weeks and 4 days, you were up to 4lbs, you were staying warm at room temperature, and you went 24 hours without being tube fed!

We got to take you home.

YAY!!!!

We got to be the ones to take care of you!
We got to bathe you!

(you used this pink basin as a bath tub for about four months)

Kiss all over you!

Your Bub-bub got to show you off.....

This is a picture of you the day before you orginal due date....

One thing is for sure, in four short years, you have accomplished so much, I mean how many 4 year olds become CEO of their house?

(okay your probably not the only one, but still)

And we love you, and are as proud of you as the day you were born!

(especially your bub-bub)

WE LOVE YOU BIRTHDAY BOY!!!!!

I Met One Smart Man Today!

2008-06-16T18:10:00.003-05:00

I had to go to the dentist to have a wisdom tooth pulled. Last week we took the boys to see Kung Fu Panda (which was awesome!) and while I munched on popcorn I broke one of my wisdom teeth, it hurt like a sonnovagun! (yes that is a real word...I say it all the time)
Anyway this morning at the Dentist, while trying four times to get an x-ray of the tooth, amongst my gagging, and desperately trying not to puke, we finally got a good enough picture of it. So once the gas kicked in, I was feeling no worries, he could of been Denti-proctologist and I wouldn't of cared. Thank goodness he didn't go through the rear entrance to get it, which was a close call because he told me "Wow, you have a really small mouth" of course I wanted to jump up and hug his neck, but my body was pretty much numb. But there you have it....contrary to popular belief....I have a really small mouth!

Priceless "Tropees"....

2008-06-09T02:07:00.007-05:00

Well, inspite of my hopes and dreams of staying home all summer with my boys, (this is where I let out a big pitiful sigh...but not of relief) I had to go back to work. All though the family is far from starving, I think I was more hurt and devistated about my last job, that I did not totally take everyone elses feelings into consideration...who am I to put that kinda pressure on Scotty? He is a good provider, and always brings home the "bacon" (which I secretly love his sausage), I think I was a bit selfish in letting him think he it was ONLY his place to do it. Although he was great over the last four months, it wasn't fair, and I know it. I am a big enough girl to admit my wrongs....whew and it's a long list so I won't bore you.

But one thing I didn't totally think through was when to go back to work, (do you see a pattern here? Apparently I am shallow too...Its ALL about ME!). I started work last Wednesday, worked 3-11 then on Thursday and Friday I worked 3-11 &11-7, the boys had a make up game on Thursday, and Hoss' last season game was on Friday, so I was working and my boys should of had their Mommom cheering for them. So this is where it gets worse....

Braxty-boy called me after his game, he got a "tropee" that he wanted to show me, so I could put it on the "firepace" or on the "TB" where his Bub-Bubs "tropees" are. So there it sets, a little silver tee-ball trophy, and oh my is he ever so proud! Which I was proud of myself, I did not cry at work, but gosh did I want to.

So there it sits on the TV, to remind me, I should of thought of them before I did myself....which I know....I was thinking about them or I wouldn't of went back to work in the first place, but maybe it will remind me to slow down and think things through a little bit better....that little silver guilt "tropee".

*I know I could totally get rid of it, but his heart would break, I would have to come up with a good reason why it disappeared, like maybe I dropped it or knocked it over while dusting....but they would never buy it...they all know I don't dust! LOL Honestly I would never do that....dust"

Car Conversations.....

2008-05-31T13:24:00.002-05:00

Although we failed terribly in our quest to reach the snow cone stand before it closed, after settling for some fountain drinks, twistlers, and orange slices, the boys were content. So on our way back to the house, with their loot in tow,
Braxty-boy said "Mommom I don't wanna go home, lets go find a tormato!"
Mommom-"What?!?!?!?"
Hoss-"Braxty-boy, mom doesn't want you to be a tornado catcher when you grow up, she would rather you work at a Radio Shack and sale people cell phones during commercials...Ain't that right Mom?"
Mommom-*laughing*
Braxty-boy"NO! Bub-Bub Imma catch one!"
Hoss-"Braxty-boy well fine, I guess mom will love you even if you grow up to be a dork."
*sigh* You know I would...or will..lol

How sweet.....

2008-05-27T23:24:00.004-05:00

Christy gave me this little gem, because she loves to read my blog! I don't even have to pay her! (because we are cousins, she has to love it, or to pretend she does...either way yay me!)

So now I have to pass this along, to the blogs I love to read, so here goes.....
RedneckDiva-she totally makes me laugh/cry/pee/snort/choke/spit coca~cola out my nose kinda blog....she is flipping awesome!
Jeff-he is also very hilarious....he is alot more intelligent then I am, so I may not always get his jokes....but the ones I do....I love it.

So thanks for the laughs folks....you my friends are awesome....and Okies...so you have to love em....

It's About MEME Again....yea I know how excited you are....

2008-05-25T11:20:00.003-05:00

Favorite person (outside family): Well that would be Taffy, she is only like my BFF, and has been for years....gosh we are getting old....lol

Favorite food: Oh man ....the list is long...I am a food lover!

Quirks about you: Well I can remember numbers, like dates, I can pull up someone's birthday outta my lil brain, it doesn't matter if they have told me once, or that it has been years since they told me....which I know doesn't sound like much, but when I was Administrator at Whipsering Oaks, I could spout of admit dates with out grabbing the chart, whether they had been there a year, or discharged for two....I know I am a weirdo!

How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less?
(Scotty is at work right now, Hoss is with his grandparents this weekend so it's just me and Braxty-boy, so here is our conversation) "Braxty-boy, do you love MomMom?" he replies "Yes!" I ask "Why?" he replied "I am lub you" plus I got a hug and a kiss......well thats alot less then ten words....but by golly I'll TAKE IT!!!!!!!

Any regrets in life? Oh crap....I am not going to have to list them am I? lol I am sure I do....but nothing really comes to mind....lets just say every time I had to put my foot in my m0uth....

Favorite Charity/Cause: I would say the March of Dimes, Braxty-boy was premature, so thank goodness, they have been looking out for him, years and years before he was even thought of.....so feel free to send them a check.

Something you cannot get enough of? Ummm...this is a family blog people! So I will just let you guess on this one!

Worst job you have ever had? I have loved all my jobs, but the one place I hated to do my job was at Healdton. UGH.

What job would you pay NOT to have? Proctologist

Guilty Pleasure: Chocolate and slot machines

Got any confessions? HAHAHAHA like I would tell.....very clever this lil' meme

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? I have no idea....I would probably spend it on my kids....if the truth were known.

Favorite thing about your house? Location...location...location

One thing you are good at? (keeping it clean here folks lol) Well I don't really know!

Who would you like to meet someday? Ummm...I don't know that I care about meeting anyone famous, or anything like that, so this one would have to be a big fat IDK!

What makes you feel sexy? Scotty does....

What is the hardest part of your job? Staying home the kids is easy...it's the paycheck that stinks....lol

Who is your real life hero? I am going to say my aunt Georgia, since Granny passed away, I think she has filled her shoes gracefully, I don't know if she is even aware of it or not. She is a very strong woman......I admire her so much.

When are you most relaxed? In my bed...I heart my bed.

What stresses you out? I would say the Bills.....

What can you not live without? O2

Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? Well shows you how many articles I read...I had no idea....I just blog because I like to talk about my kids!

Why do you blog? Because I like to talk about my kids.....and I like knowing that I can flip through older posts, and relive those memories!

Okay I totally stole this meme off RedneckDiva, but what do you expect...I am her stalker....so if you want it...you can have it....but just go read hers too...she is helluva funny gurlie!

Bring It On.....DOG DAYS OF SUMMER!!!!

2008-05-20T14:04:00.002-05:00

Today was Hoss' last day of school, he is off to third grade! Are you serious? He is going to be a third grader? One more year then he is off to the MIDDLE SCHOOL BUILDING!!!! No secret that I am a big ol' tit bag...but it was all I could do to not cry today, he is growing up so fast, I can't stand it, and to add salt to my gaping bleeding wound, Hoss kept telling Braxty-boy "Hey you get to come to school with Bub-Bub next year." WTH? Where did my babies go? I swear they were just here nestled in my bosom! Safe and warm and still babies. But they weren't in there, I looked and all I found was some oreo crumbs and what appeared to be dryer lint!

As usual Hoss made me very proud today, he got a gold medal for his Accelerated Reading points, a reading certificate, made the Superintendent's Honor Roll for the year, and a car tag that basically states that I am a chauffeur to an honor student. Ummmm YAY! He had a great year this year, minus that little snot bag Merci breaking his kind heart....(just kidding Merci, if you happen to read my blog, you precious lil angel...CALL MY SON! But if you don't call him...SO BE IT SISTER! HE THINKS LEXI'S HAIR IS SHINIER THEN YOURS ANYWAY!)

So heres to sleeping in late, sunscreen, snow cones, homemade ice cream, and three months of me bauling because my babies are growing up to fast, whew good thing I have three months, I can pace my self!

Take me out to the ballgame.......

2008-05-03T21:10:00.003-05:00

Both boys have been working their tales off, playing baseball.

Well actually, Braxty-boy doesn't really work his tale off, well actually he doesn't really work at all....he just likes to bat and play in the dirt! Thank goodness it's non-competitive so, they don't keep score! The only thing that would of made him happier then getting to bat, would be a big ol' "tormato" to fall out of the sky. Apparently seeing a tornado is all the rage amoung three and four year olds. I learned this last week when they got their baseball uniforms, low and behold there was a blue "tormato" on their ball shirts! GO DIRT DEVILS! Which sums up their team really well. They are all very fond of the dirt, and they are all lil' devils! One thing for sure....they are soooo darn cute out on the field!

Hoss...what can I say about baseball and my Hoss-man, I can honestly and whole heartily say he puts so much heart into it, it scares me. Our pep-talk on the way to his games are usually this..."Son, if you try the best you can, then it doesn't matter what the score is. Momma is proud of you either way, win or lose!" Of course his response is normally how he is gonna do his best. Well we are only a little over a week into the season, and I have to tell you....I am SO PROUD of Hoss. He has a few odds against him prior to stepping on the field, his size, his genetics, and the ignorance of the spectators. Hoss is quite a bit bigger then everyone else on his team, but age-wise he is about in the middle, unfortunately for him he looks years older, so people comment about they way he runs, or his inability to run. He got his flat feet from his father, so when he is running his fastest, it looks like he is barely jogging. He has yet to hit a home run since leaving tee-ball, but what others don't realize is, if he could run at all, he would of hit plenty of home runs. He makes up for it in RBI's, but he still wants a home run. I want it too, so maybe those other pesky mothers would shut their trap about my baby...who does the best he can do, and that is all his parents have asked of him. I have bit my tongue plenty this year, except for one practice, and I can say that haven't chatted about him as much when I am within ear shot of them anyway. Hoss' field position is pitcher, even though they are still coach pitch, so he stands next to their pitcher, well we had a tournament this weekend, Hoss had at least a half dozen assisted outs at first, and he even caught a pop-fly, which shocked him so much he fell to the ground, the crowd sucked wind in unison , but he jumped back up and did NOT drop the ball. YAY! Let's just say....that was his home-run in my books! I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!!!

*Please note I do not think my child is the best on the team, I am only stating how he plays with so much passion, inspite of his size or his inablility to run. I am claiming I am the proudest mother from his team!*

**I will post pictures as soon as I figure out why my dang computer doesn't want to recognize my camera anymore! UGH!!!!**

So I am in need of a mental enema/suppository?

2008-04-16T14:14:00.004-05:00

I read the following statement, while surfing this wonderful world wide web....

"If minds had anuses, blogging would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump."

So it would seem I am in dire need of a mental enema/suppository! So while waiting on a bout of Mental Crohn's or some other sort of Cranial Dumping Syndrome to happen to me, what should I do to pass the time?

I have even looked around for prune juice for the brain, but no luck there. Which I have found that the end of the writers strike, and the return of all my favorite programs, is helping me cope with my inability to take a mental crap.

Some April Foolery for you.....

2008-04-01T16:33:00.002-05:00

*Front door swings open*
Hoss slings the mail and his backpack...."I can't talk I gotta go pee REAL bad!"
I pick up the mail and his backpack and yell towards the bathroom "So how was your day?"
Hoss.."It was a GREAT day Mom!"
Me.."Wow! What happened?"
Hoss.."You always tell me to have a great day and it was great."
So we sit on the couch and he begins to do his homework, I start shuffling through the mail, dreading the bills, so I begin to look at the new Mary Kay booklet that came in the mail.
Hoss.."Oh Mom look there is a spider!"
Me.."It's okay son, don't worry about it."
I was all into the new samples that were in the Mary Kay booklet.
Hoss.."MOM! It's April Fool's so when I try to trick you, you are suppose to look!"
Me.."Well son, maybe you should figure out what I am scared of, then try to scare me, you know I am not scared of spiders."
Hoss.."Oh! Well when does Scotty get home from work? He is a SPIDER SISSY! I will get him soooooo good!"
Me.."Not till midnight son. Sorry,"
Hoss.."Dangit! ....Hey Braxty-boy look there is a spider!"
Braxty-boy looks, Hoss yells "April Fools!"
Then in turn Braxty-boy does the exact same to Hoss
Braxty-boy.."Hey Bub-bub! It's a PIDER!"
Hoss.."Oh man I am scared!"
Braxty-boy points at Hoss and yells "Your a pill fool Bub-bub!"
Hoss and I start laughing hysterically, and Braxty-boy gloats because he got Bub-bub sooooo good!
Happy April Fools!

List of Reasons Why I Need to Lose Weight....

2008-03-30T15:26:00.003-05:00

There are many reasons why I need to improve my body, I am very unhealthy at this point, and ONLY I can change it. So here are my reasons why....

1. I need to be around for my children, at this point I am only sitting up a tea party for Stroke and Heart Attack to come over and enjoy. I love my children with all my heart, I am their mother, no one will take of them the way I feel I can. So I really don't want to give that up. EVER!

Okay, now that the #1 reason is out there, here are a few other reasons why I need to lose weight.....

A. I want to take a cruise someday, but I want a cabin with a window (which we all know are the outer most cabins, and with my weight they will have me sleeping in the center of the ship so it doesn't tilt during the night, while I lay in bed)
B. I want to be able to go camping with Scotty's family, and not have to get up in the morning and drive to the bath-house to take a shower with everyone else. (the showers in the camper and seriously a two foot square, with all the water on your body and the plastic of the shower curtain, then throw in a large wet ass....things stick....like a shower curtain to your ass, and if by change you get shampoo in your eye, it takes quick responses...turn like a rocket to rinse your burning...stinging eyes...well if you don't stop and peel the shower curtain off your ass....well you have now flooded the bathroom, ripped the shower rings through the plastic rivets on the curtain, your blind, and pretty sure folks will laugh at you.
C. Matching bra & panties....I KNOW THEY MAKE THEM IN REALLY LARGE SIZES......but those....don't really make you feel sexy....really!
D. I want to ride bikes with the boys....YES I COULD DO THAT NOW, but I want to be able to ride bikes with the boys with out struggling, from exhaustion, and the last thing I need while trying to keep my big ass on the bicycle seat, is for some passer-by to tell me, "HEY! If that bike had a seat on it it would be easier to ride".
E. I want to be able to wake up in the mornings, and NOT discovered that I had rolled over one of my boobs...waking up deformed is no fun, seriously, one front boob and one back boob.....no one is into that...I know I googled it one day. Not a fetish .....yet!
F. If a stroke or heart attack are my fate...then I want it to happen while I am skinny and hanging upside-down on the monkey bars, with Scotty doing the backwards cowgirl.....not while I am trying to put on my girdle during the summer.
G. I want to fly to see my brother and his family this summer, after he returns form Afghanistan, and NOT need a seat belt extension on the plane.
H. Go shopping for a baby shower, and folks not ask me when I am due, while I am standing in the checkout lane. That would be AWESOME!

Okay you get the point....I can go on and on, but seriously....you guys know how twisted I am, so I need to stop here, before I run my reader/readers off!

OMG!!!

2008-03-28T16:41:00.002-05:00

I did it!!!!!

I am SOOOOO proud to say it....I DID IT!!!!

I swear to goodness I am so pumped up, I could climb a mountain right now with out having to stop for a snack or a ciggie!

You know why????

Because....I DID IT!!!

I love this feeling, knowing everyone will be proud of me.

All I can say is....

YES!!!!!

*~*insert cartwheel here*~*

YES!!!!!

I really had no idea I would be this giddy over it.

It some ways it is silly, no wait, in A LOT of ways it is just plum ridiculous!

So nevermind, it's not that big of a deal after all!

Have a GREAT Friday!

Good Friday!

2008-03-22T01:24:00.006-05:00

Today, after Hoss FINALLY cleaned his room (it took him all of spring break to git-r-dun) we started knocking items off of our to-do-list.

1. Dye Easter eggs-CHECK

2. Make Cupcakes-CHECK

Well we thought, that was all there was to do today, well with Braxty-boy, he is always full of surprises! I bathed the boys, Braxty-boy climbed in Scotty's lap with a book, during the entire time of Scotty's reading, Braxty-boy was playing with his belly button. Like a dummy, I HAD to ask him why. His response was "Because Mommom I got bubblegum in there!" What? So sure enough I walk over there and his belly button is white, so I successfully removed the bubblegum, but it broke Braxty-boy heart, apparently he was only gonna save it for "just a little bit".

3. Clean out Braxty-boy's belly button-CHECK

Have a Great Good Friday!!!

Do stay at home Mothers get Worker's Compensation?

2008-03-17T13:03:00.004-05:00

The ONLY thing Hoss wanted from Santa was a Wii. Santa was unsuccessful in his many attempts to find one. Hoss opted to revise his Wishlist, and all was well, he was very mature about it. Scotty and I told him that, if we ever came across one, we would get it. Breaking promises to my children is not something I particularly like to do. Have I ever broken promises to them? Oh, I am almost sure of it. I will say the promises that have been maybe discarded were teeny tiny ones, I know better then to break the one's they will tell their therapists someday while laying back on the couch. Am I claiming my children will never be warped by me?
No, the complete opposite, I know I will warp them, seriously I am warped myself,and I have a very twisted imagination. What does a twisted imagination do for you? Well not a lot, unless it's late at night and the kids are asleep, and Scotty isn't still scared from the last time my imagination rared up . It's not like I tied him up, started doing things to him that would embarrass Hiedi Flice, then leave him because I needed to answer the knock at the front door, that turned out to be my mother who wanted to go to some garage sales, so I threw some clothes on and went with her, only to return four hours later, to find a very unhappy man. That my friends was not me, I would NEVER EVER do that to Scotty, but only because I don't particularly like garage sales, but if the knock at the door would be someone like....oh my sister, and let's say she wanted to go to the casino to blow 20 bucks, then yes that scenario is a possibility. I know I am a sick and twisted individual, Taffy (my BFF) knows this better then anyone, one evening they were over and she pulled Scotty aside and said "Look bub, this is what needs to happen, tonight you need to tell Jax she is a dirty lil b*tch" (I am not sure why she would do something like this except for the fact, she is a LOT more twisted then I am, she brings out the twistedness in me) She told me what she did as she was leaving to go home that night. I was thinking...Oh My! my lil brain began racing, what that comment would lead to....how exciting!! So do you want the explicit details? No? Well your getting them anyway...I am twisted folks! That night, I got the boys to sleep, I laid in bed anxiously awaiting the demon I was possitive Taffy had awoke in Scotty. He climbed in bed, and in a sweet, sulky, and seductive voice he whispered "Turn out the lights you dirty lil b*tch" Well lets just say I was about to explode, I get up turn out the lights, and return to bed, roll over and lay my bead on his chest, he strokes my back like...oh I don't know...maybe three times, and fell asleep. LOL! He did work twelve hours the night before, and stayed up all day because it was Hoss' birthday party that evening. So I can't actually hold it against him, but it has been two years since the incident, and I still do. LOL
Dang I got off on a rant, and that wasn't my intention when I began posting....sorry folks....I am twisted.
Anyway! The Wal-Mart sale paper for this week had Wii Gaming Systems on sale, *while supplies last* so Saturday night around midnight I called our closest Wal-Mart to inquire about the Wii, they were sold out, but they would put more on the shelf at 8:00 am in the morning. Scotty and I came up with a game plan, since I am naturally nocturnal, and a heavy sleeper, it would be easier for me to stay up until then instead of laying down at 1:30 am and him having a chance in hell of waking me up to be in Ardmore at 6:30 am. So I stayed awake all night, got to Wal-Mart at 6:30, there were two mothers there waiting. I asked the associate how many they were going to have available at 8:00 am, they said only 6 systems total, one mother threw a screaming cussing fit, the other mother was very patient, so we stood there and waited for an hour and half, we were successful as were the other two folks who got in line behind us as like 7:55 am (lucky snots!). I came home from Wal-Mart yesterday a flipping HERO! I laid down took a nap (only after kicking everyone's butt in bowling....TWICE) when I got up, Scotty laid down for a nap because he is working nights this week. Hoss, Braxty-boy and I played game after game, for like two hours. they fell asleep, I watched Big Brother, went to bed only to wake up to a throbbing painful arms.
So what is the moral of this post you ask? Well there isn't one really. You could read this and think...wow she kept her promise, what a devoted mother, or you could take it in the opposite direction, wow she is one twisted mother, but just know this.....I am twisted, Scotty is working nights, so my imagination has to run wild for a week, without any relief, I mean I could handle things myself.....but that damn Wii I had to get my child has my arms so spent, I have to turn myself down!
*Sorry if this post offends anyone, it truly wasnt my intention, but if it does...go screw yourself....which would only make you the lucky one!*

Horton Hears A Who, and It looks as though someone spew'd

2008-03-15T23:00:00.003-05:00

Weekend of Spring Break what to do? What to do?
How bout we go watch Horton Hears A Who?
Bathe, dress and jump in the car!
Make Daddy-o hurry, to two excited boys, 30 miles is far!
Tickets, tickets four of them to buy.
Braxty-boy yelling let's get popcorn and soda, and Daddy-o pays the guy.
Salt the popcorn, grab napkins to boot.
Find a seat down front....this will be a hoot.
Daddy-o spent most of the show enjoying a nap.
Braxty-boy spent it in Mommom's lap.
After the show, IHOP sounded like the place to go eat.
The yelled they wanted pancakes, like they needed anymore sweets.
They ordered the Jo-Jo Breakfast, of Green Eggs and Ham.
It looked like shit to me, telling the truth I am.
Cream spinach and scrambled eggs, not a pretty sight.
It made me lose my appetite.
Who thought they could get children to eat that crap, what a mistake.
We left the IHOP with four unfinished plates.
So here is the events of our day.
Maybe the next time you visit my blog I will have something better to say!

It's been awhile......

2008-03-13T22:52:00.002-05:00

I know I have not posted anything humorous in quite some time, it's not that funny stuff hasn't happened, it just wasn't as funny to me as usual. I will whole heartily admit I have been in a funk for the past six weeks. Anyway I had two separate conversations that brought a smile to my face. One was with Braxty-boy and the other with Hoss.

Conversation #1- Braxty-boy and I were hanging out this afternoon watching Tom & Jerry, out of the blue Braxty-boy said "MomMom you're a BUTTHEAD". Now neither Scotty or I have the cleanest of mouths, but butthead isn't something we say. So being curious I said "Where did you hear that word?" His reply "My PaPa calls you a butthead all the time MomMom!" So of course I began to laugh, then a few minutes later I called his Papa and told him of the above conversation, then I said "He so needs a spankin!!" (he had got home on Wednesday from a two day stay at Nana & Papa's) Papa replied "Tell him I am gonna spank him for tattling!" Which we both died laughing because well it was the truth.

Conversation #2- We had just got home from the parent teacher conference (which we sat in Hoss' classroom for 20 minutes waiting to see his teacher but she never showed, and Braxty-boy was starting to get antsy...very colorful room to expect him not to run around like a chicken with his head cut off!) Hoss came in the kitchen while I started supper and said "Mom I am thinking of digging on Merci again" (which it was just a few months back he was breaking up with Merci because Lexi's hair was more shiny then Merci's) So I replied "Well son why? What happened with Lexi?" he replied "Nothing, but my friend Dewyatt, he likes her so I told him after Springbreak he could have her and I would just go back to Merci. Plus Lexi is shorter then Merci and I don't want girlfriends that are shorter then me."
Theese probably aren't the funniest things ever, but my kids made me chuckle today, just thought I would share.

YAY.....Two More Weeks Until Easter!!!

2008-03-10T10:45:00.003-05:00

Easter is my favorite holiday, now don't get me wrong....I love me some Christmas, I mean I haven't even taken down my Christmas tree yet. I know you probably think I am kidding, or just plain lazy! The fact of the matter is.....well I am lazy, and I have a neurotic three year old whom protests anytime someone mentions the Christmas tree and its need to be put away until next Christmas. Have you ever picked a fight with a three year old? I know I am the parent and I should put my foot down (or up....his butt). Braxton truly loves the tree, he turns the lights on all the time, lays under it, moves ornaments around, talks about it ALOT, at night when driving in a car and you see the street lights of town, especially in the horizon, he yells "OH MY DOD!!! LOOK!!! IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!"

It truly breaks his heart, and he doesn't understand that it can be disassembled and put into a box and stored in the closet. His reply "It won't fit, it's too big", so how do I break his heart? It's not like we have company over alot, or company who doesn't know where Braxton stands on the issue. Let's face it, he is so darn cute when he argues with you, you can't help but giggle.

So Neena brought over some plastic Easter eggs, we have talked about taking down the Christmas ornaments, and replacing them with the eggs. Braxton is still standing his ground on the whole Christmas issue, but he is suppose to go to his Nana's so maybe I can get that knocked out while he is gone for a night or two. For some reason the thought of "paintin eggs" thrills the socks right off of him. When he returns we are going to do a practice run of decorating Easter eggs. Now I am all about plastic eggs, but a few years ago, I only decorated about a dozen of real eggs, and everyone pretty much brought plastic eggs to the egg hunt, well Hoss and Brooklyn were very disappointed, they only found plastic, they wanted the real eggs!
Which plastic eggs full of chocolate and money verses a hard boiled egg....to me it's no contest...I'll take the chocolate and money anyday.....but not those two!

Hoss' great grandmother has a rule at her house, even though she thought I was a spawn of satan, that I am going to make my children do as well. Easter was about the kids and hunting eggs, if you came to her house Easter Sunday and you weren't married or had any children, then you had to hunt eggs, Bobby was 26 years old, along with his best friend Dustin who was 27 years old at the time, were out in the yard hunting Easter eggs. Which her eggs were more loose change then chocolate, due to the fact the grandkids were all grown and preferred the change over the candy. So she saved her loose change all year long, just to put in the eggs at Easter. Dustin would tell about how he would come home on the weekends from college and go to Nanny's on Easter because he would need it for gas money to get back to school. They were never embarrassed by it. Actually if I remember right Bobby hunted eggs up until the year I was pregnant with Hoss.

So hopefully Easter will be so exciting for Braxton that we will be able to take down the Christmas decorations, but then again I am lazy....and it's only 8 more months until Christmas decorations need to go up........LOL

Snow in March???

2008-03-04T22:27:00.005-06:00

Yesterday evening about 5:00, while I was making Scotty's birthday dinner, the boys were out in the yard playing in the snow!!!

This is Braxty-boy having to come in from the snow!!!

VERY TRAMATIC er DRAMATIC!!!

This is Braxty-boy milking it for all its worth!

LOL

Oh well!!!

Hope you had a Happppppy Birthday Baby!!!!

We love you Daddy-O!!!!

Nightmares.....

2008-02-29T16:17:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Braxty-boy woke up from his nap, wide-eyed and a little distraught, I was on the telephone with Neena (my sister) so I asked him what was wrong. He then told me that he had a bad dream. I said "Oh really? What happened?" He then went on to say how he was at Neena's house and Hoss hit him with a roll of toilet paper! Apparently it was pretty scary because that was all he talked about, even at bedtime we had trouble getting him to go to sleep for fear of his brother and toilet paper.

A Meme about Himhim.....

2008-02-24T21:06:00.004-06:00

What is his name? Scotty Ray
How long have you been married? Not married yet.
How long did you date? Almost 6 years now.
How old is he? He will be 28 next Monday
How old are you? I turned 32 last month.
Who eats more sweets? Ummmm that would be me!!!!

Who is taller? He is 6'2 I am 5'11, so he wins this one! =-)
Who can sing better? He sings ALOT better then me.
Who is smarter? I think we are equally intelligent.
Who does the laundry? We both do, but unfortunately neither of us do it near enough!!!!
Who does the dishes? Again we both do.

His guilty pleasure? Ummmm video games, but he feels no guilt....almost sure of it!
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do.
Who cooks dinner? Ummm again we both do.
Who is more stubborn? That would be me.
Who kissed who first? We met on the Internet, we were friends for along time, when we finally agreed to meet, we both kissed each other...so it's a TIE!!!

Who asked who out first? He did.
Who proposed? He did.
Who has more siblings? He has a sister, I have a brother and a sister.
Who wears the pants? I do, but I have to, because he WILL NOT stop wearing my panties!!!!! (OMG KIDDING)

What is your favorite thing about him? That he wakes up in a good mood every morning. His lips are flipping awesome. =-x

I won't tag anyone, so if you want to do this....have at it. You don't need my permission, bc I totally jacked it off a blog I was lurking around (innocent look)

Stuck In A Rut.....

2008-02-23T12:06:00.004-06:00

Sometimes he totally wears me down,

sometimes he drives me completely INSANE,
but when he laughs, it brings me back to SANITY!

Being Shot Would Just Be A Blessing!!!!!

2008-02-14T22:23:00.003-06:00

Well it has been over two weeks since I posted....ALOT has happened since then..... I am not real sure where to start. So here goes....

Half of my readers know that Christy and I are cousins (actually she is half of my readers...of course she knows....she can't deny it either...I do have pictures to prove I have known her all my life....so just you try to deny it MISSY!!), anyway I posted that Monday of my putting Braxty-boys pants on backwards and him wearing them all day at daycare like that, on Wednesday I came down with an earache, by that Thursday I got an earache on the other side of my throbbing aching head, then I got a phone call from my devistated mother whom was crying saying my cousin was very ill, and she was on her way to be with her sister....then moments later my other aunt called hysterical, my dear, sweet, precisous, fragile (the name she commented on our blogs under) cousin, had passed away....I was so broken at that very moment, which was probably a bit selfish, because she was broken most of her life.
I couldn't ever imagine what it was like to be her, even thought I did try to imagine. Once we were little (well I wasn't ever little but I was young....Shanna-nanner...she was always little, petite...fragile) we were all at Fronteers Day, and Shanna got knocked down by a innocent kid on a bicycle, who was just out having fun, like all of us....Shanna being so fragile, broke several bones, they took her to the tiny local hospital, and she was medi-vac'd to Dallas to the Children's Hospital....she was not a stranger to the hospital, but I don't know if she had ever flown in a helicopter before, anyway, they asked her if she was scared during the flight....she told how she wasn't scared because the angels flew with her, so she wasn't scared at all. (I don't know if I told this story right, I could of even dreamed it, so forgive me if it wasn't totally factual) One thing about Shanna....she was always brave. I think alot of us are hoping she left alittle of that to us, when she passed...or maybe it's just me...because I could use some.
I went to Shanna's house after my aunt called. All I could think about was her immediate family, her husband, her dear sweet child, her parents, her sister(Christy), and her brother. I have shed many many tears since, I spent the days up to her services going to her parents house, trying to be supportive, but I am a HUGE crybaby, and totally felt like crap, as the days went on, I became more ill, becoming dizzy, and sick to my stomach (so I doubt I was supportive at all). I returned to work on Wednesday, only able to work a few hours before calling it a day and heading back home. Thursday I decided to tough it out, I had missed so much time in that week, I wanted to atleast try and tough it out....well at 4:00pm the area manager of the Nursing Home came and fired me due to low census. I have worked since I got out of high school, I feel that I have worked hard. I started out as a nurse's assistant and with in 5 years I had become a nurse, to running a nursing home. At the age of 25, running a nursing home, ( I didn't know anyone my age that even wanted to step foot in a nursing home) I had heart, and I thought that was what mattered....well apparently it does not....overhead, it's all about the almighty dollar folks.
SO this week I have been without my dsl, because my stupid PC decided to forget my dang modem.
So needless to say I have cried enough that they have lifted the burn ban in Southern Oklahoma and North Texas!
I know this is a very boring non-interesting post....maybe I will get out of my funk....maybe.

Monday ALREADY?????

2008-01-28T20:26:00.000-06:00

Well today was a heckuva Monday, work was awful....just awful. Can anyone tell me why folks (employees) act a fool all weekend, so you are welcomed by an angry MOB first thing Monday morning?

I was soooooo excited it was about 15 minutes until quitting time, and then I got a call from a loving family member of one of our precious residents, whom said call me when you leave town, I just got done with supper, and since it's Monday and the last thing you want to do is go home and cook, I made enough for your family as well. How freaking sweet is that? Why don't I think to do sweet things like that? Like Mrs 4444 she is writing thank you notes to folks standing in the cold, directing traffic so everyone's kiddos makes it safely to school. (and go read her post for today....gotta give to those teachers, especially special needs teachers like her and Christy)
Anyway I left work, called Scotty told him how nice Connie was to make us supper and that after picking up Braxty-boy, I was to meet her then I would be home, so to look for me in about an hour. Well I got to the daycare to pick up Braxty-boy and noticed his pants were on backwards...which is not all that unusual for him (he is forever putting his underware on backwards because he likes looking at spider-man...opposed to sitting on him) So I said "why are you pants on backwards?" he replied "Because you did it to my pants today, you got them on me backwards!" I seriously wanted to freaking die!!!
Please let tomorrow be better....not just for me Lord....but for Braxty-boy as well!!!!

So Full of Excitement He May Just EXPLODE!!!!

2008-01-27T18:39:00.000-06:00

If the last episode of Zoey 101 sent you spiraling into a crash landing of emotional bliss (as it did my eldest offspring) then snap out of it....because tonight they will continue where it left off. And MAYBE just MAYBE she will tell Chase she loves him too and then MAYBE just MAYBE Hoss can go on with his life of an 8 year old boy.
So now I am off to pop some popcorn, pop open some cokes, and grab some tissues because there is a chance we will both be crying by the end of the episode.

Jack Frost is a lazy little.....

2008-01-25T10:59:00.000-06:00

Well, with great hopes of getting to call in today due the big ol' helleva Ice Storm that was suppose to blow in while I slept in my big ol' helleva warm bed, those hopes...faded. Hoss was hovering over my sleepy head saying "Mom, do I have to go to school or not?" I exclaimed "Heck no bud! We are gonna hang out here today!" then I closed my sleepy eyes once more, he then said "I think we still got school." UGH!!!! I called Neena asked if school was cancelled....nopers!

Oh Ice Storm....where did you go? Why didn't you want to come over? Oh Ice Storm....your an A-Hole!!!! And as for you Jack Frost....why not nip at my nose .....you lazy lil shit!

It was 8:30 am school starts in like 5 minutes....Hoss hurried, got dressed, I think he skipped brushing his teeth, and Neena saved the day when she offered to take him to school. I jumped outta bed and into the shower (in a single leap, because in my mind...I am freaking awesome like that). Got ready, got Braxty-boy motivated (forced him to get dressed). I was gathering my things, Braxty-boy opened the door to go down the steps (which were iced over, but not enough to close school, because for some reason mother nature in all her cold ass glory wanted me to drive 50 dang miles to work, when all I wanted to do was lay on the couch with the boys, watch freaking nicktoons and eat cold cereal and popcorn all dang day) Well after Braxty-boy stepped out, he began to slip and slide and twist and turn, and freak out just a lil bit. He grabbed the door facing which helped him find safe ground inside the front door once more. Being the caring mother that I am, was trying my best not to laugh. I went into the kitchen to get some salt to sprinkle, because I have not one ounce of grace in my body, had I stepped out before him, I would still be lying in my front yard and not updating my lil blog! Braxty-boy says "Mama, it's spating outside!" I replied "Spating?" he says "Yes!!!!!!!" ummmmm okay, so then he begins to cry, so I try to comfort him and say "What's the matter No-nee?" He says "But I don't know how to spate!" Well DUH mama doesn't know how to skate/spate either! But I was like a super-hero making all that spate melt...but not as cool of one as Pider-man...that is who Braxty-boy is!!!
*~*When Braxty-boy was itty bitty I would make up songs to sing to him, because I am a dork like that...anyway I would sing "No-Nee No-Nee full of macaroni...Your dad's full of crap...And your brothers full of Bologna*~*

Opposite day?

2008-01-22T20:19:00.000-06:00

Today was like any other Tuesday...or so I thought! Work was work, same old same old. We had a very UNproductive department head meeting, it did boost our morale, because we are the team leaders right? We should want to succeed, we all want to make our residents and staff happy. So we had a lil 15 minute sit down, that turned into 45 minutes of us laughing and cutting up...I know I am a vicious boss. A few department head weren't there but one thing we learned about the remaining eight us in that meeting, all of our cell phones have ringtones of questionable nature. It was like a bad dream, everytime we began to talk about something, one of our phones would ring.....first tune..."I've been really tryyyyyyyyyyying babyyyyyyyy.....let's get it onnnnnnnnnnn.....we would all laugh like idiots while Deanna answered her calls (she got several during out meeting).... they have all giggled while I answered...."I wanna check you for ticks"......then again when someone else's phone would of blurted out "It's your pimp calling...pick up the phone HO!"

Needless to say we did not get a whole heck of alot accomplished today... There is always tomorrow right?

I go to daycare and get Braxty-boy, and guess what he had stuck to his shirt, why it was a lil sticker, that was a symbol of his good behavior for the day! I nearly passed out, I was shocked ....really! I knew he had it in him, but wow I was still shocked! So I stop to get gas, so I called Scotty told him we were headed home and bragged on our offspring, and his reply was "WOW! Oh yea, Hoss needs to talk to you" Hoss gets on the phone and he got in trouble at school, he says while on the bus he pretended like he was going to spray some cologne on another child (but swears he didn't really spray them) well the bus driver took the paraphernalia and gave it to my sister when she dropped him off. Poor Hoss was stressed, so I told him to think about what he did, and to have his room cleaned when I got home, which was a 45 minute drive.

Now I am all about my children following the rules, and having to answer for their actions, but I didn't see that it was that big of a deal, Hoss knows that he if lies, or "forgets" to tell me of such instances and I have to learn from a third party of his ill behavior, that the punishment is alot worse. But I still felt like he was acting like an eight year old boy. Since he needed his room cleaned anyway, I felt that was good enough. And thankfully...tomorrow is another day.

*He also has to apologize to the other child tomorrow, and isn't allowed to put anything in his backpack that isn't homework related*

One Mean Mother.......

2008-01-21T20:18:00.000-06:00

It was Monday...all day long...yay! Work was hectic, our home recently sold to a corporation, well not real recently, actually a year ago, but the home is just now having to change over to "their" forms, even tho we are in a ever changing industry, we tend to HATE change (yes strange) and actually the forms say the same thing "ours" do, so to us it seems like they appreciate nothing we do. We know deep down that's not the case, but still we are reluctant.
After a Monday full of, doing payroll their way, expense reports, deposit logs, expected budget, etc....it was a LONG day. Plus the administrative assistant is on vacation, it was Monday, it was a LONG day!
So I leave work, pick up Braxton at daycare, made him name the shapes on his classroom door, because when he says "square" it makes me giggle, and I needed to giggle, badly. Anyway on the way home I was jamming out to Godsmack, because it puts me in a better mood, and I really try not to take out on the family all the stress I find at work. So we are driving along, and we pass some construction, they are building some new bridges and moving the highway over, so Braxton says "You see that hole?" I turn down the radio and say "Yea, baby I see that hole" he says "Wanna fall off in there?" so I say "NOOO, I don't wanna fall in that hole! Do you wanna fall off in that hole?" He replies "No way, its got mud in there, I will get stuck, and mud on my shoes, you will pank (suppose to be spank...Braxty boy talk) me and put me in the baff tub!" I say "Oh REALLY?" (now please note he is probably right lol) So then he starts to cry, when I asked him why he was crying, he replies "Cause your gonna get soap in my eyes!"

SO there you have it, I push people off in mud holes, beat them, then put soap in their eyes....I am ONE MEAN MOTHER!

I Stalk....I Steal....I Cheat .....LOL

2008-01-20T22:19:00.000-06:00

Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle.Say the following questions aloud and press play.Use the song titles as your answers. NO CHEATING!

How does the world see me?

Song: Yellow Ledbetter

Artist: Pearl Jam

Comments: Well...the song is awesome...so thats makes me awesome...yea yea yea that is what I thought too...LOL

Will I have a happy life?

Song: Gold Digger

Artist: Kayne West Jamie Fox

Comments:Ummm Okay...lol

What do my friends really think of me?

Song: Stronger

Artist: Kayne West

Comments: So....I stink...lol

Do people secretly lust after me?

Song: Give It To Me

Artist: Timberland

Comments: LMAO

How can I make myself happy?

Song: Hunger Strike

Artist: Temple of the Dog

Comments: Going on a diet usually pisses me off....who knew!!!! lol

What should I do with my life?

Song: Watching Airplanes

Artist: Gary Allen

Comments: We don't even have an airport close by...this sucks!

Why should life be full of so much pain?

Song: What I've Done

Artist: Linkin Park

Comments: Hmmmm so its Karma??

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?

Song: Stay

Artist: Sugarland

Comments: Well that makes alot of sense (note to self...stay around next time Scotty wants to ...yaknow) ....to funny

What is some good advice for me?

Song: Can't Change Me

Artist: Chris Cornell

Comments: Ohhh Chris Cornell...gosh I love this song...

What is happiness?

Song: Sweet Euphoria

Artist: Chris Cornell

Comments: Hang on...gonna listen to all of this one before I go to the next ?....

What is my favourite fetish?

Song: (I cheated on this one....first answer was "Smack that"ROFL)
Course this one is just as bad....Afternoon Delight

Artist: Will Ferral ...Anchorman Soundtrack lol

Comments: Thats just freakin hilarious....

How will I be remembered?

Song: Saving Grace (theme song)

Artist: Everlast

Comments: LOVE THIS SONG!!!! Love the show....gotta love Holly Hunter....

6 Things you are probably gonna wish you did NOT know about me!

2008-01-18T23:25:00.000-06:00

****THE "RULES":Link to the person who tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.In no particular order, My Six Non-important Things/Habits/Quirks****

Well Mrs 4444 has tagged me for the above game..... Well I stalk folks on here quite abit, and frankly I think all the comments and stuff I leave on their blogs, scares them a lil bit....but here goes anyway...

*begins to laugh like an evil person*

1. If I laugh to hard, I snort like a pig, and if you snort while you laugh and I hear it, I begin snorting as well....my sister snorts too, we infect each other....in turn this makes folks stare at us...ALOT.

2. I still have my Christmas tree up....Braxton doesn't want me to put it away, and since I procrastinate like I do...and his whiney ''puh-leeeeese mommom" melts my heart (please note he ONLY calls me MomMom now when he wants something that he wants me to say yes to, otherwise he has graduated to calling me Mama) ...he has won...but Scotty says it has to come down this weekend, so I will gladly let him battle with Braxty-boy over that one.

3. I love playing Mario Party (any of them) with Hoss...we talk a little smack to each other...but when I kick his lil 8 y/o butt, I am on top of the world...even tho he is 8, I should probably let him win every single time....but I don't (which he kicks my tail plenty) so when I beat him...I really rub his nose in it...it's SO much fun! (I know you are probably picking up the phone right now to call CPS on me...just be sure and let them know I have two boys okay? I'm kidding!)

4. I probably laugh at my kids way to much...but I can't help it, I laugh at everything...just yesterday I asked Hoss "so what did you make on your spelling test?" he replied "I made 100...no wait I don't know, Ms S. wasn't there today and the supertude didn't grade them" So then I replied " you mean substitute?" then laughed uncontrollably until I snorted.

5. Several years ago I went and got my nipples pierced, but when I got pregnant with Braxty-boy, my OB/GYN had never had a patient with jeweled nips, so he thought maybe I should take them out, he said they could possibly cause discomfort later...well I took them out, and sure enough they did cause ALOT of discomfort, but it could of been from my pre-eclampsia, anyway, when they took Braxty-boy I had to pump because he was born to early, and was unable to eat so he had to be tube fed...anyway the milk came out the piercing sites instead. LOL I know TMI!!!

6. A few months ago there was a arts & craft show near by, so me, the boys, and Scotty's parents went (Scotty was at work) anyway, Hoss wanted a marshmallow gun, so I bought him one, well PawPaw wanted to play with it, and somehow managed to get into a marshmallow war with with several other lil kiddos who had also suckered their mothers outta 5 bucks...well I knew security was going to escort us out of there, so I went on about my oooohing and ahhhhhhing at all the booths, well there were tons of people there, well PawPaw being the lil smart-ass that he is, shot me in the side of the head with a marshmallow and before I knew it I was shooting him the bird. Several folks were between me and him...Hoss seen it...and will NOT let me live it down... he will say "hey mom member when you gave PawPaw the bad finger...that was so funny" It still embarrasses me!

Okay there are 6 lil things your probably wishing I left to my self...but oh no...I am an open book.. lol

I am not actually going to "tag" anyone, but please if you want to do this have at it...the only reason I am not is because I don't know six folks who read my blog =)~

Because I stalk blogs....

2008-01-16T22:26:00.000-06:00

I did my lil checking of blogs, like I do every night before I go to bed...Well, RedneckDiva had posted this today, I only hope it works.....

Go here. The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

Go here. The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

If you get the same quotes I did just click new random quotes, because I can NOT have you stealing my album title....lol

Go here. The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

And well here is mine.......

Now I hope this works out for you if you want to try it to see what yours would be, I am puter dumb, so hopefully you won't get the exact same answers I did...

Mr Smarty-pants!

2008-01-15T21:18:00.000-06:00

Hoss made the superintendent's honor roll, so he came home with a bag full of goodies from school. I have always known he was a bright child...he does have my DNA! lol I am kidding, he must get it from his dad. Since he was a toddler he would sit in his carseat and ramble on and on...figuring out all the mysteries of his world. He would ask...''Okay mom, what is 12+698+365+987+6325+5236=?" Of course I would reply "oh thats like 3215665565" I would just throw a random number out there...well that only worked for about a year. It wasn't long before he was asking some simpler ones like 76+23+5=? Well he would grade me...saying "good job" or "nopers try again" How he knew the answers I don't know, because he hadn't even started preschool at the time. Anyway you get the point, he has always been a thinker, which is good, but he has a little bit of drama in him as well, which hurts him a little bit too. Especially when you have a mother who can NOT control her laughter, because sometimes he says some funny stuff...but he doesn't always try to, so therefore I sometimes hurt his precious feelings. He is a good size lad, but one thing is for sure, his heart is bigger then he will ever be. I hope that is something he never loses in this big ol' cruel world.

I know he gets a hard time on the playground, most of the kids in his class only comes mid-chest on him, and well the older kids think he is their age, so they assume he was held back and is dumb. So he tends to get bullied...ALOT! Which excuse my language...it pisses me off ALOT! I think we have showed him to turn the other cheek, but hopefully one day he refuses to back down. He is in the second grade, has only attended one school, and we have been blessed with very sweet teachers thus far, with the exception of one, whom sent behavior reports home every week that were horrible. So every week he was punished for probably the first half of school, I called to set up a meeting with her because frankly I was worn out, tired of grounding, spanking, or whatever measure we had to take that year. It was his first year of school, he went to headstart in the morning and Pre-k of the afternoon, it was only the afternoon teacher who had problems with him. His headstart teachers both bragged on him, would even call out of the blue to say what a joy he was, so finally I asked well why is Ms. Meany-pants saying the opposite? So the teacher said call her and set up a sit down with her and find out, because Hoss is a great kid. So I did, it was about a week before a field trip, anyway I go see her at the scheduled time, she Say's "Hello Mrs. T, your husband brought by the money for your train ticket." and my reply was "HUH? I am Hoss' mom...Jax" she said "yea I know your husband.." so I said "Ummm, we are divorced" then she gave me this look, a look like I was trash. Then she stated " Well that explains ALOT" Which bothered me...ALOT...single mother, working her a&% off to make sure her two boys have everything they need and then some bitty is going to look at me like that based on the fact I was divorced...oh no way missy!

So then she preceded to tell me that she thinks the reason why she has sooooooo much trouble with Hoss is because he comes from a "broken home" well at this point I was ready to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!! I calmly let her know that Hoss did not come from a broken home, he came from two homes, perfectly fit homes, that loved him more then most kids were loved whom came from "normal home" and he didn't need to adjust, he was the most adjusted, well-rounded kid that ever LIVED! SO then she says she has big problems with him because he gets out of line, runs back to the classroom when they are on their way to lunch, talks out of turn etc... I was like "Oh really? I wonder why?" She then said once he got out of line..he was the leader that day and went to the back of the line to help a little girl up who fell, and he once went back to the classroom after a little boys coat, while everyone was going to the lunch room, and when I was asking the class some questions, I will call upon a child to answer and Hoss will tell them..you know this one, you can get it...

I almost fell out of my chair, I said well I think you have the problem not my child, he is doing exactly as he has been taught, and I have spent the last 4 months punishing him,for being a gentlemen, lady you have got to be freaking kidding me.

Blah...got of on a rant...wasn't my intention when I sat down to post!

Anyway so last night after looking at all his goodies...a commercial came on that mentioned ....ancestors...He looked at me and said" What's an ancestor?" so I reply "well son its ..." He interrupts and says "never mind I know what it is...Its you, your my ancestor, because Neena is my aunt and you are her sister, so that makes you my ancestor"

It was all I could not to pee my pants!

*Please note we live in Oklahoma and ancestor and aunt's sister sound alot alike lol*

****The Arthur of this blog would like to add, that she isn't one of those mothers whom think their children do no wrong...because during his first year of school, I made three other trips to the school for his behavior e.g. He cut a lil girls bangs for her (we are still sorry Taylor and her mommy) He stole a wooden play-do knife (after Uncle Joe got through showing him the jail house he has vowed to never steal again) and lastly He showed his wienner to another little boy (his head-start teacher re-assured me that it was a one time thing, and she never caught him trying to sword fight with it in the bathroom like some of the other little boys in her class)*****

From MEME to YOUYOU!!!!

2008-01-14T21:58:00.000-06:00

10 Things Many People Don’t Know About Me:

1) Injury: Hmmm I got whip lash once in a car wreck...got bit by a horse when I was three it was totally my brothers fault, he made it mad, and it (the horse) took it out on me...

2)Childhood Nickname: Flea (from my uncle Bill) Jax (from a step cousin) Jackson (from a childhood friends dad he and his wife were killed this year by a drunk, they were riding their Harleys in the motorcycle club Riders for Christ) and lastly Tank (from the Turner High School boys basketball team because I was so much taller then the other girls we played against I plowed/tanked through them blah lol)

3)Secret: I am becoming an addict to this blogging, I like to put the kids to bed and read even if I don't know them, I get hooked on their blog and quickly start stalking them and craving for them to write something else that will make laugh, giggle, snort, and pee a lil bit which is usually followed by me running to the bathroom then making Scotty come read someone's blog....which no offense but I really think he could care less sometimes LOL

4) Health: I have High Blood Pressure and Rosacea so my face is red even when my BP isn't elevated! LOL GO ME!!!!

5) Talent: I can eat a helleva lotta chocolate...and do NOT get tired of it. (sorry I have no real talent)

6) Accomplishment: I have not one but TWO beautiful boys whom make me SO proud! I graduated Nursing School, and I have aqquired my Nursing Home Administrator License (which I know whoopdy-doo, but I was running a nursing home at 24 ) and that makes me proud!

7) Crime: I have not EVER been convicted of any crimes....

8) Favorite way to De-Stress: Smoke a ciggie! Eat Chocolate....Drink a coca~cola

9) Long-Term Goal: To lose some pounds so maybe my BP will go down, because I want to spoil grandkids and sent them home....Can't wait to pay Braxton back lol kidding!

10) Misc.: I did this for Mrs 4444 because she is one of the blogs I stalk on a regular basis, she is hilarious!

SO there you have it...My Meme2YouYou

An award for me........WOW!

2008-01-13T12:13:00.000-06:00

Christy was so kind to give me an award, which totally shocked me....not the part of her being kind....the part of me getting an award. Which was the cherry on top of a very wonderful weekend for me. Yesterday was my birthday, and I guess you could say the festivities began on Friday at work....the folks I work with are very sweet folks! They made lunch for me, gave me gifts, cards and even cake and ice cream...it was very generous of them...and I think it was genuine too....not just a kiss up to your boss kind of deal. (and if their tactics were only to kiss up to the boss...then it worked, I was totally thrilled) Yesterday I got several phone calls from the family with birthday wishes, very sweet.... so anyway after Hoss' scrimmage (which he totally thought was a bad word until yesterday, when I asked him "HUH" he replied "Well I seen it on Benchwarmers" lol who knows!), he went to his dad's and Braxton was off to his Nana's. My very bestest (I know bestest isn't a word that spell check honors...but dammit its the truth) and closest friend Taffy (Tappy according to Braxton) and her girlfriend Brenda came over and we drove to Wichita Falls for shopping and dinner at the Jalapeno Tree (MY FAVE) Scotty's sister and her boyfriend met us there...which I must say that when we were seated and I realized our waiter was homosexual, I was thrilled...estatic...going to be the best birthday dinner EVER.

But he wasn't spunky, funny, or efficient...Taffy and I even discussed this in the bathroom during one of our potty while you talk sessions. I was a little bit disappointed. *SIGH* Which we did tip well before we left...so maybe it cheered him up. While we were eating...Uncle Jim called (the one with ED...just kidding...Christy please note I really think he may love me more ....again I am kidding... and its obvious he was clueless to my blogging about him YAY!

So we left the restaurant and went to a casino we played penny slots for a while of course none of us won millions actually I left with like 27 cents in my pocket and Taffy didn't even have pockets (and swears she didn't have anything tucked in her bra either) anyway we are leaving the casino and there is a golf cart wrapped in plastic with a gentleman sitting inside it who asks if we would like a ride to the car...its very windy and cool so we both say "YES!!!!!" (Scotty and Brenda being the tough ones decide to walk plus they are both skinny..and I hear walking is something skinny people are fond of...plus they had the wallets...that contained money...which Taffy and I did not have) We hop in and say "thank you" like a million times...well the parking lot was so full when we got there that we seriously had to park 14 miles away from the door (please note that a city block is 14 miles in fat girl language) so as the driver is turning around Taffy elbows me in the ribs and points at a sign that states "TIPS" well I don't know what was wrong with me ( I was stone sober) but I began to giggle, then cackle. then I snorted, possibly farted, but I know I dribbled alittle pee, but one thing was for sure I COULD NOT STOP! I was trying to be quiet but every time Taffy elbowed me to stop it made me worse...it was like hearing someone fart in church...there was no hope for me. After the 30 minute drive across 14 miles of cars (meaning 2 minutes and 1 city block..fat girl language) He asked okay ladies which one belongs to you..Taffy explained (because I couldn't say anything for all the laughing) that we were only two vehicles over and he could let us out now...but the gentlemen said "Oh I can take right to your door" Well as soon as he stopped I made a mad dash outta there..still laughing and crying at this point but I had my 27 cents in tow...I was not trying to be rude I just knew that the ONLY 27 cents I had on me would of insulted him, well Taffy got out and went to Brenda to get some $ for a tip but the man sped off like a mad man...which he probably was...but I was not laughing at him....I was laughing at us! It took me about 10 minutes to stop laughing enough that I could even tell our significant others while we were so tickled, which they did not find it as humorous as Taffy and I did. So since I was totally useless for conversation due to my sudden giggles, Taffy started doing the "Remember when...." then I was rolling again. After begging her to stop because my sides hurt, my cheeks hurt, and I was seriously about to empty my bladder...that's when she said "This is why you will be reading my eulogy because I don't want alot of snot slinging at my funeral" But little does she know...she makes me that happy, to laugh so hard you lose control over bodily functions. It was a great night!

So now I have to tag folks that make my day....

passing on the love that Christy

showed to me....so here goes.....

Mama Of A Whole Lotta Drama

Half-Past Kissin' Time

The Redneck Diva

Choosy Moms Choose Jeff

(please note that I meant no disrespect to any homosexual whom may read this, my closest friends are and well frankly they are some of the kindest people I know, I do not judge the lifestyle people choose to live....except for maybe cannibals...but it's only because I have a very weak stomach...and the thought of eating some chili that has been made of armpits and elbows just makes me want to hurl is all)

Time to start on those resolutions.....

2008-01-09T10:01:00.000-06:00

So it's time to get started on my New Year's resolutions...I put losing weight at the top of the list (at this point my weight is a health hazard) and is starting to affect everyone around me. Just the other day Scotty almost lost an eye! Everyone has their favorite jeans....well I was putting mine on, and not just "favorite" jeans, these were actually tall's, and for some reason a requirement for being tall is also being skinny....well you know me....I like to go against the rules, guess I am a rebel like that. Anyway, I pull up my most favorite jeans EVER and attempted to button them..and apparently while hanging in the closet my jeans decided either that they hated me OR that the button and the button hole were getting a divorce (one of those bitter bitter divorces where there is no reconciliation in sight) so I decided to lay on the bed to button them (I was trying to convince them that they really did love each other and deserved to be together) so while I tried my best ( cussing like a sailor) to get the two to "hook" up, Scotty walks in the bedroom to ask me if I am ready (brave man) and somewhere in the mist of me struggling to get them buttoned and glaring at him and saying "almost", the button flew off my jeans at a very high rate of speed (it sounded like someone shot a gun inside a saloon of one of those old westerns). Well thankfully Scotty ducked therefor saving his eye!

So it's a must, I have to lose weight, for the safety of my family!

Next on the list was budgeting. Scotty and I sat down and wrote down our bills and our income, it was sickening! We live pay day to pay day and are hoping to overcome that this year, and the way everything adds up it should be doable. We are hoping to get a newer vehicle this year because mine is wore completely out...well not completely but I drive 100 miles a day just to work and back home, and its a gas drinking fool. I added up that I spend $250.00 in two weeks just in gas, its crazy! But we like the room especially on road trips to visit family. So hopefully we can get our crap together to where we can afford a car payment.

Then lastly on the list is procrastinating, which heavens knows I do that ALOT! I haven't come up with a simple plan for that yet.

So basically I need to start counting....counting calories....counting pennies....but stop counting down to the last minute before I do something.

***I looked up the button and button hole on the love calculator and apparently they were doomed from the start because their score was only 27%***

I swear he is too FREAKING cute sometimes!!!!!

2008-01-07T21:20:00.000-06:00

Braxton is making goo goo eyes for ....well we don't know really.

~I do think this will probably get him whatever he wants for a week or two~

**I know I need to take my tree down...but I haven't turned the lights on since Christmas if thats any consulation!**

NOTHING like saying"Hey there! Imma dork!

2008-01-04T20:28:00.000-06:00

So far this new year is off to a wonderful start....I know I put in my new year wishes that you need to laugh at yourself at least daily. Well what I really meant was only do it when no one else is watching. It's the fourth day of the year and I have laughed at myself three times, but not a bah-ha-ha laugh I was encouraging everyone to do, but one of those nervous giggles where the entire time your are giggling you are mentally hitting your head against the wall.

Exhibit A- Made fun of uncle Jim and his worn out you know what, only to find the next morning his father (Papa Roy) had passed away. Now I know that they know I was making fun like I always do, and he would never ever think it was disrespectful. I just wish I would of had better timing with my joke.

Exhibit B- I think I have the most thankless job anyone could have, mostly because of the media, and a few idiots whom have mistreated the elderly which in turn gave the media the fuel the needed to build their fire against the nursing home industry. Everyone has heard nursing home horror stories, but they never print in the paper, how some families drop their loved ones off, never to visit them again, and how the employees love and mourn for the residents after they pass away or rehabilitate to return to their home. Anyway that's a whole other rant....We had a compliant that the health department came out and investigated, they sent me the report on December 20, so yesterday while on the phone with my boss, I was sorta, kinda, maybe even gloating about all the work I have done, and how first thing in the morning I was going to send the health department my plan of correction; which his reply was ..."you should of sent that last week you only have 10 days" I responded "Oh I know, but with the holidays, I am in good shape, I am going to send it tomorrow" He says "that's 10 calendar days not business days" so to make a long story short I argued with him, well I went back and read the instructions/regulations again....he was right! (thinking I will get a raise soon) Which I did get it to the post office to overnight it and I did call the health department and begged for their mercy...so we will see!

Exhibit C- Got a phone call tonight at 7:00 from Cammi, she was informing me that the basketball practice was cancelled, but there would still be a practice at 12:30pm tomorrow. I was a little speechless and said "ummmm okay" then Cammi went on to say she wasn't sure of everyone to call because she hasn't got all the permission slips from school. Again speechless "Wow...permission slips, I haven't done one for Hoss" then Scotty informs me that he filled one out at Hoss' Christmas party at school, so I gave him the evil eye for not telling me about basketball, so I thanked her for calling, and said "Yea I appreciate the call because I did not know about the practice" she then informed me she sent a note home with all the kids today at school, so then I asked Hoss if he had any notes I needed to see, hes like yea...jumps up empties out his backpack and gives me the note, he reads it over my shoulder and says "Mom we got practice Friday night at 7pm" I said "well whats today?" "what time is it" he answers "Friday at 7:03" then he frets "But I will miss Goodbye Zoey!!!" ugh!!! So at this point Cammi is laughing her butt off, and then we both agreed...No mother of the year award for me! SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!!

So YAY!!! 2008 is quickly becoming known as the year of the chuckles!!!

Penalties, Penalties, Penalties, Penalties

2008-01-02T23:28:00.000-06:00

Well CONGRATS to West Virginia, the Fiesta Bowl Champions! The referees arms are probably wore out from all the dang flags they threw tonight. Being the loyal OU SOONER fan that I am, I must say that although I LOVE IT when we WIN, but when we lose to the underdog....it makes me feel better about it. It's easier for me to get over, for some strange reason. Maybe the underdogs tug at my heart strings....or maybe it's just an excuse I tell myself so I don't just sit around and cuss like a sailor...who knows! Besides...this year we WON the three games that meant the most to me ( and we all know that every week during all the practices and team meetings that Bob Stoops reminds those big ol' boys that their one and only goal is to play to the likings of Jax) we beat, University of Miami (course if you say UM alot..people think your a retard) we beat the University of Texas (BEVO....its whats for dinner ....tonight) and of course Oklahoma State University. So the boys had a good year....they did win the Big XII Championship...so that works for me!
Now Scotty on the other hand....he just wants OU to WIN WIN WIN!!!! And acts like a big ol' tit bag when they lose...we like to call it compassion!

Since I am on my rant.....you know who needs penalties....the folks who think up the subject line for spam mail....."Make your one eyed monster longer and stronger with ..." "Show her you love her with an erection that will last 36 hours" "Worm not working get Stiffenhard"...they go on and on and on...we all know no one actually opens those do they? With the exception of Uncle Jim...but we try to over look him. Well I think I need a job writing subject lines for the Wonders of Weinner World! Surely to goodness I could come up with something better then the ones that flood my bulk email...and Uncle Jim if your not getting those emails...I will be happy to forward them to you!

Saying good-bye to 2007.....

2007-12-30T20:14:00.000-06:00

Saying so long to 2007.....which I must say if 2008 is as good as 2007 then I say BRING IT ON! Scotty and I both changed jobs this year, both were for the better. I can now be at home with the boys at night and on most weekends, Scotty is finally getting the pay that he works so hard for.

Braxton adjusted to daycare and although he took he precious sweet time on the potty training, he has mastered it. Course with him everything is on his own terms, you can beat him, threaten him, bribe him, chase him, restrain him, love him, kiss him, hug him, and no matter what else you could possibly think to do to him to get him to do something....he isn't gonna do it until he wants to!

From conception (some of the best things aren't planned) to his birth (almost 8 weeks early weighing in at 3lbs 10oz) to cleaning his room (still waiting on this to happen!)

I would like to say that 2007 helped us both understand each other better (he just might get some of his hardheadedness from me), he has matured quite abit and SOMETIMES he plays well with others! Since I am using SOMETIMES loosely we aren't ready to clean off the pantry where all the weapons aka toys that he has used to hit someone with have retired to. (and on behalf of Braxty-boy, if Tre-Bob or JT is reading this then.... Braxton is SORRY) Even with all the choas this little child likes to create, Braxton is a good boy!

As for Hoss, he learned to play little league baseball, although loved T-ball, it did not take him long to see that with practice and patience he did pretty good through out the season. Even though strep-throat and tonsillitis found him every couple of months, he did very good with his tonsillectomy, I was very proud of his bravery leading up to the surgery. His reading has gotten a lot better, the whole practice and patience thing paid off again. We still have to work on slowing down and reading every word in the sentence. Even though he hasn't mastered the whole HEELYS thing, again practice and patience come in to play, but he refuses to put them back on....something about he almost died trying to skate with them in the kitchen or something...which I think he would of been okay...of course unless he knocked the pantry over...all those weapons....it would NOT of been pretty! And Hoss, he is a good boy too!

So Scotty and I are still trying to figure out what we are going to do to ring in the NEW YEAR....Nana has offered to keep the boys if we wanted to go out...she also offered to have us come spend the night and hang out....(she also promised to bring her cell phone to bed with her so if I needed to get up and pee...she would help me get out of that bed which is full of air...which is fine except the air in that bed HATES MY GUTS!)

Then there is the whole new years resolutions thingy...of course lose weight being at the top of the list, budgeting money better, and being less of a procrastinator. Oh well I have another day to worry about those! (see I should probably move the whole procrastinator thingy up on my list, but I can do that tomorrow I guess!)

My luck nothing exciting or blog worthy will happen tomorrow so just in case I don't get a chance to tell ya again..HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here are a few New Year Wishes for you....May your year be FULL.....your belly, your heart, your wallet, your gas tank, your ice trays, your toilet paper roll, may every thing you need be with in reach, and may your also find things running on EMPTY...your laundry hamper and the part of your brain that makes you worry! For everyone I wish them happiness, and at least once a day I hope you find a reason to act retarded or laugh at your self! Life is way to short act like you have a corn cob stuck up your butt....because chances are...eventually that corn cob is gonna find its way out...and unfortunately I don't think it will be pretty!

HAPPY 2008!!!!!

Just Updating my BLOB!

2007-12-26T22:28:00.000-06:00

Sunday at our Russell family Christmas, Sharon and Martha both called my blog and Christy's blog....a blob! (which I thought my mother was the only one of the girls who made up her own words)

And yes! I touched Chancey's pickle...it was quite small I must admit, shocking, because if the size of his nose means anything then....just kidding...so glad he doesn't read mommy BLOBs anyway!

Oh! Christy, since you uploaded a picture of your foot, I will post mine that I took of your hand, I loved the way it floated right into the picture with so much grace!

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.....

2007-12-26T21:32:00.000-06:00

Well Christmas was wonderful, but I must admit, I am glad it's over or at least the cooking, wrapping, and shopping aspect of it. I am guessing we were victorious over our Christmas Marathon, course if you ask the boys there were the 1st place winners....which is fine by me!

Hoss is 8 but wise for his age (my opinion anyway) thought he read his Nana's lips Sunday night when he yelled " I KNEW IT! YOU'RE GONNA FILL THOSE STOCKINGS!" Nana retaliated by yelling "NO WAY BUD! ONLY SANTA CAN DO THAT! I was only telling Scotty I would turn out the lights in the living room" So off she went to "turn out the lights", in the meantime Scotty and I nestled into our overblown air mattress (or it became overblown when I laid on it) to escape all the madness to a wonderful deep sleep. I was awoke at 1:30 am with Hoss in my back, and since I was laying in the middle and the sides were so poofed out I was not capable of rolling him out from under my back and back up the hill to hopefully roll him back off the side of the bed to his sleeping bag. I was very unsuccessful! So I decided I would just get up and go pee and hopefully I could roll him off then, Scotty being so much smarter then me had gotten up sometime before I woke up and went to sleep on the couch. Well on my way to the edge of the bed, every ounce of grace I had left my body, because I flopped and flopped and finally got close enough to the edge (or so I thought) to where I could grab a hold of the edge and sit up like a normal person, but no that big hill of air that I desperately tried to roll Hoss over had escaped the edge of the bed and rolled under me so fast that I flipped right onto the floor, and while I was down there crawling on my knees I discovered I could not push myself up from the floor by holding on the bed because the air hated me, as I shoved down on the bed, the air moved and suddenly I was still on my hands and knees but this time that corner of the bed I was trying to use was flat as a dang pancake! So after crawling around and laughing at my self I did manage to make it to the bathroom before I wet all over the carpet.

I creeped into the living room where Scotty was resting like a little baby, so I walked up to him and thumped him as hard as I could and said "What the!!!! why didn't you wake me up, Hoss was stuck under my back, then I fell in the floor, and there is no way I am gonna get back in that bed!" Without saying a word, he went and got me a blanket, gave me the couch and he crept to the recliner.

Needless to say I did not get much sleep the night before Christmas' Eve! So I make it through the day, and get Hoss back in time to go to his Dad's for Christmas. Hoss returns at 11:30 pm, I put him and Braxton to bed, well easier said then done. Our day was spent eating all the homemade goodies, so Braxton was wired on enough sugar to stay awake for weeks. Which he tried to do I think, he did not go to sleep until 2:30am, so Scotty and I got to bed about 3:30 am only to be waken up at 6:45am!

So the boys set a record, they managed to destroy the living room in less then 10 minutes, wrapping paper and empty boxes were everywhere. Scotty quickly got to work assembling the toys and what not, I managed to get the boys to calmed down enough to get them bathed and dressed so they could return to their Nana's and so I could go to work.

Speaking of work, I got there to find one of our resident's daughters had made the employees spaghetti, and I have to say it was the best spaghetti I have ever eaten. So now I am looking forward to working next Christmas!

Here are some pictures of the boys I took once I got them cleaned up......

The Smell of Peanut Butter........

2007-12-23T00:48:00.000-06:00

Every year I make peanut butter balls, and S'mores because they are chocolate, and who doesn't love chocolate? If you don't love chocolate then something has got to be terribly wrong and you should see a doctor seriously! So all week has been spent cooking, baking, and putting together platters. Just in the past week I have made approximately 960 peanut butter balls (with a big help from my sister Neena) and about 400 no bake cookies, which I need to make another batch but I am too tired to care at this point, 6 batches of S'mores. So basically at this point I don't care if I ever smell peanut butter again, but I will eat it...I just don't want to smell it, and in all honesty I probably only left the house with 600 peanut butter balls because I have eaten the rest....the boys helped....I mean there is no way I could eat 360 alone...I think Halston and Braxton ate about 3 each!

So with all the cooking, baking, wrapping, gifting, shopping and running I am ready for the marathon to be finished! Both boys had Christmas parties on Thursday, my company party was Friday night, Halston has his Christmas with his Grandma Saturday afternoon, we have Christmas at Aunt Martha's today (which finally got her tree decorated Saturday night with the help of Braxton, MeeMaw, and PeePaw even though he was in his underware, and myself I was almost fully clothed, I left my bra at home .....yaknow.... tidings of comfort and joy) so, after we leave Martha's we are off to Scotty's parents to spend the night, then Monday we do Christmas with them that morning, then we are off to his Nana and Papa's for another round of Christmas, then come back to Ringling in time for Halston to go do Christmas with his dad to return at bedtime so we can make cookies for Santa, then wake up to hopefully find that Santa thought the boys were actually good this year (we are still hoping the comminuty service the lil elf did pays off)

So I guess you can say we are hustling and bustling (course I don't even know what bustling is....I should prolly look it up before Christy reads this post) and high on peanut butter and sugar!

So MERRY CHRISTMAS and heres to an unproductive December 26th and stretch denim with elastic waists or pajama pants...Heck Yeah!!!

A lil way to remind you.........

2007-12-19T19:47:00.000-06:00

Since Hoss has been in school I have kept just about everything he has made. Mostly because I hate to throw anything like that away, I have kept every newspaper article he has been mentioned in. His rendition of "How to make a Thanksgiving Turkey" when he was in Kindergarten, I even kept the picture of him mailing his letter to Santa when he was in Head Start (even though his pants were unbuttoned and unzipped in the picture....Poor Ms. Melva did good to keep his pants on him that first year of school...this is the first year he has kept his shoes on while at school).

Well today both boys blessed me with their gifts, Braxton made a ornament with his picture on it, and a wall hanging of his hand prints, Hoss made a wreath out of his hand prints and made red berries out of his thumbprints. Last year for Christmas Hoss gave me an ornament with his hand print on it and they decorated each fingerprint to resemble snowmen, with a laminated poem...

These aren't just five little snowmen

As anyone can see

I made them with my hand

Which is a part of me

Now each year when you trim the tree

You'll look back and recall

Christmas of 2006

When my hand was just this small

These are most favorite things! Even though someday they will remind me how old I have become, and how much they have grown! So for now I will load up on my goodies, but I hope they remember while looking back how excited I was when I got them, because no matter what road they have traveled down, or path they have taken, I am still their MOTHER and I will love them not matter what, but if they want me happy...they will continue to bring me goodies, it doesn't have to be their hand prints, it can be a new house, a new car, a flipping vacation, or anything of that nature.

He can't help it! It's in his genes!

2007-12-17T19:10:00.000-06:00

Hoss has decided to apologize to me for not obeying me. Now I have always said Hoss was a good child, who minds well and I think is very mature for his age. Sometimes Scotty has to remind me as well as Hoss reminding me that he is only 8 years old. So as curious as I could ask.."Disobey? Huh? When?" He then proceded to tell me that when he was almost 6 years old that I tried to get him to eat chocolate cheesecake because it tasted so good, well apparently he did not believe me, thought it was a hoax, there was no way it was good, only the plain cheesecake is good. Well he just now got a piece and decided it was not only good .....it was obviously the best and then he said "Mom, you are so right, it's awesome" So let this be a little reminder to him...
MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT! So I did what any mother would do, I said "I know I am right, and the next time I tell you its gonna rain, you best be packing an umbrella (then I sang like Rhianna ella ella ella ella)"
For some reason he said "Huh" then rolled his eyes like Bill Russell!
Kids I swear!!!!!

There once was a little elf......who pee'd on a tree!

2007-12-17T18:19:00.000-06:00

I picked Braxton aka "Santa's Lil Helper" up from daycare at 1:30pm in order to have plenty of time to get him dressed to await the arrival of good ol' St. Nick. When I arrived at daycare he was resting quietly on his cot, Ms. Becca (or Teacher as Braxton likes to call her) woke him up, at first I cringed because he gets his rise and shine skills from yours truly, we are bears, mean vicious bears, if it weren't for Scotty I could seriously eat my young in the mornings! So anyway he wakes and is surprisingly very pleasant. I was thinking alright it's going to be a GREAT afternoon!

So we arrive at the nursing home, go to my office and change his clothes, at first he is so silly, bouncing with every step making the bells ring, at this point I was so proud of my little man, he was actually going to be energetic, cute and outgoing like he normally is when there isn't 150 people staring at him. So we round the corner to leave my office, here it comes...the first "Awwww!!!" then there is an "Ohhhhh!!!" here it comes now "How cute are you!!!" So Braxton takes the elf hat and pulls it down over his eyes and covers his ears up and begins to pout. I wanted to take him by the arm and shake him silly, shake him until that hyped up, outgoing, and spastic kid came back out. (this is probably where I should point out that I acted this way well up into adulthood. I still don't like attention, especially good attention) So the comments just kept coming, more ohhhing, awwwing, snickering, giggling and pointing, at this point Braxton did not want to join in any reindeer games, I should also add we hadn't even made it into the dining room where the Christmas Party was going to be, we were still out in the hallway 50 feet from the door.

Braxton wonders up the hall about 20 feet from me, we hear a bell ringing, I quickly turn my camera to video mode and I focus it in on Braxton who has his back to me, the bell is getting louder and louder. Around the corner comes Santa Claus! YAY! Braxton did not "YAY" he didn't even say his "OH MY DOD" instead he break off in a dead run, I am standing there holding the camera trying to video and Braxton has run behind me grabs ahold of my chins (has wrapped his arms around them) and sticks his out from between my knees, so now the camera is shaking in my hands from my laughing, it still has Santa in focus, when Santa bends down, and looks between my legs and says "Come on helper" Braxton sucks his head back and shuts my knees like they were going to protect him from the mean ol' Kris Kringle.

So Santa moves on in the dining room and yells "HO HO HO Merry Christmas" (but by this time I turning my camera from video back to picture taking mode) but Braxton begins to jump up and down saying "OH MY DOD It's Christmas!!!" Well that was all it took in no time Braxton was delivering presents left and right, they were all delivered unharmed and unopened. One resident even asked Santa to let the elf bring their present next time.

So all in all it was a good party, the residents were happy and that was our only concern, sometimes it only takes a few minutes to make their otherwise lonesome day.

So Santa we hope our deeds were good deeds, and we really hope that when you were loading up your sleigh to leave, that you did not notice the little elf stripping down pants to pee on the tree out in front of the nursing home.

Santa's lil helper....

2007-12-11T19:34:00.000-06:00

This coming Friday is our resident Christmas party at the nursing home, so I have volunteered that since Santa was coming and with it being so close to Christmas and all of the elves will be very busy filling all the tall orders of eager children everywhere, that Bratty Boy could help hand out gifts to the residents. So I picked up some material and mother sewed him up an elf suit.

We are hoping our efforts will pay off since Braxton being the average over-achiever that he has become (he has been going thru the terrible two's for the last two years). So we aren't sure that the North Pole will taken his token of community service as a "get outta jail free card". But we are hopeful this will maybe blur their vision a little bit as they look back on this past year.

Such as....

1. Last Christmas' Eve we were at Scotty's Nan's house and she had just finished remodeling her house (cause she sat the bathroom on fire) anyway, while the adults were playing dirty santa Bratty Boy came and tugged on Scotty's aunt Brendas shirt and mumbled something and motioned for her to follow...well followed she did into Nan's bedroom where there were at least 6 freshly made pumpkin pies sitting on a long dresser because there wasn't any room left in the kitchen and theese were actually for the Christmas dinner the next day...Well my dear sweet little angel whom at some point had donned Hadlee's patton leather sandles (which he thought he looked nice in) had graciously stuck his finger in every one of those pumpkin pies and painted her closet doors with pumpkin. Which thank goodness they were mirrored and he managed to pass up the freshly painted white walls. We are pretty sure this didn't count for last years Christmas since it was so late in the day already, but who knows for sure.

2. One day at in-service at the previous nursing home that I had worked in, Braxton came to in-service with me, I was in the capacity of a charge nurse but it was my day off so anyway he came with me, the administrator whom was a really tall man bent down toward Braxton to say hello and Braxton popped in right in the "goods"!! I wanted to crawl under a rock!

3. One day at Big Lots in Gainsville we both needed to potty, so I let Braxton go first, then I went, well there was a lady in the next stall whom experience some uh...flatulence. Braxton began to say "You hear that MomMom?" "What was that MomMom"? I began to give him the cut it off thingy in sign language but apparently he didn't have a clue what I was insinuating. Well when we opened up our stall door, so did the lady, and Braxton began to inform her that she had farted and that he heard it. OMG!!!! He would NOT let it go. Again! I wanted to die!

So Santa, Sir....we are willing to do community service to help get the gifts to all the residents at the nursing home, now we are not sure he will be on his best behavior, but we will show up with willing hands to do whatever you need us to do. But we will try as we have allllllllllllllllll year long. (the hopeful mother crosses her fingers and says a little prayer) It will be really sweet or on the other hand it has potential to go drastically wrong, so come Friday we will flip the coin, and hopefully the presents will make it to the residents unwrapped and unharmed! HOPEFULLY!!!!!!!!!

And the MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO....................

2007-12-07T19:15:00.000-06:00

Not me. I know this because my children have a way of proving to me in their subtle little ways.....here are two from just today...actually in the last two hours...

1. With Christmas being just around the corner, every commercial on TV is Christmas related, latest toys, latest gadgets, everything, like the "He went to Jarrod's" or "Every Kiss Begins With Kay" commercial. Yaknow the ones that say "spend $42,000.00 on her to show her you love her" Anyway the one of the Kay Jeweler commercial shows the couple using the wishbone, them breaking it and him handing her the pretty bracelet or whatever, anyway Hoss says "Whats a wishbone" so there I go trying to explain to him what a wishbone is and then he asks "Well where can we buy one because I want to try to break it" so I then procede to tell him that they are in a chicken and when you eat the chicken you find them. Well he let me know right fast that he has never seen a bone in a chicken before. Now when I was a child I witnessed the life of a chicken many times ( I know I know I am well versed) I watched the eggs in the incubator, the eggs hatching, the little chickens growing up, to the laying of the eggs, right down to my granny with a pair of pants under her skirt out in the yard with an axe propped against the smoke house, grabbing a chicken just to wring its neck, then taking the axe and chopping it's dang head off. It was gross, then taking them in the house after flopping and squirting blood all over us and the yard, sticking them in a boiling pot of water (this is when it started to reallllllllllllly stink) pluck the feathers off and then dress the chicken and put it in the freezer. So needless to say as a child we did not eat chicken strips or nuggets, we got the bone in of some of the best tasting fried chicken. Now my children on the other hand have only had strips, nuggets and the occasional chicken leg from KFC or maybe a grilled breast (boneless and skinless). So the curiousity of my dear eldest offspring has proven yet again without knowing it that I always take the easy road out. Still he doesn't understand why you can't buy a wishbone.....so if anyone knows where I can find a wishbone dealer...tell them to hook me up!!!!

2. My youngest offspring, now potty trained was in the bathroom earlier, went in and shut the door, came back out smiling holding his cup that I had put marshmellows in (he makes a mess so he only gets a cup at a time, I know its just fluffed sugar but he loves em or he just likes making Hoss mad by eating all his bullets to his marshmellow gun) Anyway I bragged on him for being such a big boy and having manners by shutting the door then I coughed and he said "Bless you MomMom" Well my proud moment only lasted about 20 minutes because after that little angel crawled up on the couch and went to sleep, his brother asked for me to go look in the bathroom at what the sleeping angel had done. Apparently he also snuck into the bathroom the entire bag of marshmellows and filled the sink up with them, but he didn't leave the bathroom before turning on the water in the sink (at the time I thought YAY he is washing his hands) which he did turn the water off, but he left it on long enough to turn the colored marshmellows into slimey gunk! So not only do I take the easy road, I am also clueless when it comes to what my children are really doing.

**I would also like to add that Scotty being the great man that he is cleaned the sink out for me because the marshmellows texture was so awful that I thought I was going to puke**

What age would I go back to if I could.......

2007-12-06T17:58:00.000-06:00

Well I think I will have to go with the present, the ripe ol' age of 31! Ugh! I know I can no longer say I am 30 that I have to say I am IN my 30's as much I(before thinking about what I was going to write) viewed it as a bad thing.
Which now I disagree, after spending part of my afternoon day dreaming of my short life I have decided this is the best, not saying I wouldn't have done a few things differently, but if I had done them differently it may have changed the course of the ship I have sailed.....I kinda like it here in my crazy little sometimes hectic world. I have two beautiful boys whom although are total opposites but even with their differences they for the most part get along better then most brothers, and they both truly bring me joy and make me so proud! Then there's Scotty who can un-nerve me quicker then anyone. but when he laughs at my twisted jokes he makes up for the un-nerving that he is so capable of. He truly understands me and he understands why I am me....even the stuff I haven't told him thats happened....it's like he understands anyway. Plus he is truly one of my best friends.

Looking back on my life...childhood was okay, I mean I wasn't ever abused or mistreated...although you could not have told me that I was not mistreated at the time....lol At one point I think I was about 8 years old I remember sitting on a blue milkcrate out in the yard with a neck brace on, yaknow one of those big foamy white ones, anyway I sat outside on that crate for several evenings in a row because my brother had convinced me from early on that I was adopted, so outside I sat waiting on the martians to come down from Mars and get me so I could meet my real family. Later in years my brother chose to torment my older sister and me by watching every Bruce Lee movie there was, then he would try all of his karate on us, we would try to tell on him when are parents were home, but mothers defentative answer was always "Quit picking on him and he won't treat you like that" Although memory slips me at times but still to this day I do not ever remember asking him to karate chop us for no reason...but hey maybe we did. (Rolling my eyes right now just so you know)

Anyway childhood years, were okay, we didn't have much, didn't have all the gadgets that my kids have, we just used our imagination which more often then not it got us into a heap of trouble. So then puberty hit and the teenage years come rolling in, nothing special just boring small town life. My twenties were okay as well, but life just seems to get better with each passing year. My kids are growing like weeds, getting smarter and wittier every day.
The only thing that stinks about my being 31 is that Hoss thinks its SOOOOOOO OLD! If I were 8 years old I would probably agree with him. They say you are as old as you feel, well by golly I feel 31!!!!

Now that being said here I am getting older every day but I still yearn for things like....my Granny Russell's wisdom, my Pa Russell's jokes (although he talked so quiet you couldn't hear his jokes so you only laughed when he started shaking all over because you couldn't hear his laugh either) my PanPa's hugs and the kiss we had to plant on his swollen jaw full of chewin-ta-backer, and oh my how I long to be a size 12 again, but this time not thinking it was fat.

Now not sure if I did this little game of tag right, but here it is!!!

**goes back to thinking of a way to get Christy back**

We Mes You....Come Bake .....

2007-12-04T18:44:00.000-06:00

So now that Hoss is on his road to recovery he is finding that he gets bored ALOT! His teacher Ms. Stowers was nice enough to help him out with his boredom by dropping off his homework along with some get well cards from her and the rest of the second grade class along with a balloon bouquet.

The get well notes were just precious so I thought I was quote just a few....

"Merry Chrismas Chrismas HOSS we really want you to come bake." ~Aspen

"We all to us LOVE you hoss"~Unknown

"We mest you git well soon fome Logan"~Logan

"I mise you Hoss the holl class mises you. Have a hape crismas"~Kim

"You are my best frid ever git Well Soon"~Dewyatt

"I Mes you HOSSS"~ Merci (his lil crush)

Well the notes go on and on, but we didn't see one from Lexi...so now Merci is one up on her....she better wear lots of hair conditioner next week to make up for it, because if her hair isn't shiny Hoss may move on to another girl with shinier hair.

YAY NO MORE TONSILS......

2007-11-29T16:32:00.000-06:00

(This picture is post-op...my lil drunk monkey)

So today was the big day, we set the alarm for 5:00am had to leave the house by 5:45am to be at the hospital to check in by 6:30am. The heavy sleeper that I normally am woke up every hour on the hour fear that I would not hear the alarm and the last thing my nerves needed today was an 8 year old lecturing me on punctuality. So I woke up about ten minutes before the alarm went off and decided to get up anyway. Got ready, and got the boys ready, dropped Braxton off at his Aunt Neena's and off we went...now by this point my stomach was in knots that started to tighten. Ah! We made it on time, got signed in and was asked to have a seat and wait our turn....so we sit.....

In walks Hoss' dad..truly a great man perfect in every way...just was not perfect for me...but perfect none-the-less, he sits down and we chat like friends, because we are, we have to be because we love Hoss' more then we ever loved each other...strange maybe but the only way I can describe it. So here we are chatting about old times, good times, present times etc...and in walks his parents, by now its after 7:00am. Now his parents on the other hand...not sure they ever liked me...example...Hoss is six weeks old. my first day back to work, I spent all weekend pumping milk every hour on the hour that he wasn't attached to my aching nips....I drop him off that morning with a ton of milk that I was so proud of...it was seriously like liquid gold anyway when I got off work and picked him up I asked..."so was that enough milk for one day or do I need to pump more?" she replies"Oh that was plenty, don't send any tomorrow because I ran to the drug store and got him some powdered formula because it is alot more convinient then thawing out the milk you brought"

ANYWAY! So in they come (I grit my teeth and force out a smile) which actually they like me now...not sure if they like me because I am an Ex or if Bob's new wife is worse then me...who knows....

Scotty shows up, he had been working all night, then his parents show up right behind him, which they drove an hour and a half to be there they are truly great people...so now am I marrying Scotty for his parents or because I love him....blah thats a another blog...LOL
No really he is wonderful and I don't know what I am going to do with him most days, I mean what I would do with out him..lol He is the best!
Finally they call us next its about 8:00am now and he is starving to death (well he wasn't sure if it was his stomach growling or just butterflies from being just a little scared) He and I go back and answer some questions then we don the lovely split down the back gown and he asked that I call his dad and have him come back so I did, then after Bobs comes in the lil bity station with us the nurse bring Hoss some versaid (not sure of the spelling) anyway 14mg was what his weight called for...I was like HOLY COW...thats enough for a grown man. We then meet the surgeon (very nice man and he didn't have any signs of parkinson's which thrilled me) and he says about 15 minutes we will get this show on the road. So being the nice person that I am I asked Hoss if he wanted his Grandma to come back there and by now he is drunk from the versaid and says SURE!

So I let them go back and they STAYED until they took him into the operating room (was thinking I should of been hateful and just stayed there and not offered at all).

9:00am the nurse calls and states they are starting procedure and so far so good...relieved but still praying over and over in my head that they are taking care of beautifuly sweet baby. So TAH-DAH 9:20 they are done and Dr says everythings perfect and we can see him in about 45 minutes....15 minutes later the recovery nurse calls and says "Ms. Tadlock what do you call your son because he isn't answering me when I call him Halston or David" after swallowing my heart I said "Oh, yea we call him Hoss or HossMan" she said hang on a second comes back and says "Thanks that worked, see ya in about 30 minutes Mom". So back to waiting....which the time flew by thank goodness...now its time to see him...my poor sweet beautiful baby was crying his eyes out when they wheeled him in and I began to (like always) sling snot because he was...so I kissed him atleast 30 times on the head and said "What's wrong baby, are your hurting?"

He says "No mama, I am really scared, please don't let them take my tonsils out, I don't wanna do it now" So I said "Okay baby, drink this water to show them you know how to swallow and we will get the HELLO outta here, I promise I won't let them try to take them out now." After a few attemps to get to take a drink he began to argue with me, he was gonna get outta that bed without drinking the water...which with his little drunk self it was almost funny...and I didn't laugh but only because I was still slinging snot LOL, then he broke my heart into a million pieces he says " You lied you told me everything was gonna be great and I was gonna do fine, but I am not fine." So I cried some more and apologized ugh kids..I swear!

So YAY he drank the water, they took out the IV and we were outta there. He slept all the way home, but he didn't snore..first time in 5 years he hasn't snored...it was awesome.

I walked him in the house...he was still very drunk but feeling fine.

Now he is awake and seriously is starving not even going to share how many helpings of pudding (3) ice cream (2) family size mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC (1) he has consumed and is wanting to know what we are having for dinner....so I am off to scramble some eggs....gonna be a long 14 days before he can eat real food again!

The Love Calculator.....

2007-11-24T23:34:00.000-06:00

So my Hoss, a truly sweet child is in a (what he thinks is life ending) dilemma. He is and has been very fond of a girl at school named Merci this infatuation has been brewing for the last three years...since kindergarden (serious stuff here folks).
He has also come to the conclusion that he likes Lexi (apparently when she tucks her hair behind her ears ....her hair shines).
Although his PaPa has encouraged him to move to Utah, and I think he is too young to venture cross country alone we decided to ask a higher power what he should do to solve his love triangle...so we went to the love calculator online and here are the results....
Hoss and Merci = 46%
Hoss and Lexi=56%
We also put his ummm ex-best friend Levi's name with each girl... one was 76% and the other was 69% I think...anyway much higher then his scores so now we have until Monday to figure out who to play with on the playground (my lil romeo) I just hope for Lexi's sake she wears her hair down...and for Merci's sake I hope Lexi wears her hair up.....
Now how he found out about the love calculator I hope to never know but here are some other names I put in....
Me+Scotty=45%
Lisa(nana)+Michael(papa)=34%
Linda(nannybingo)+Max(papa)=10%
Last but not least....
Spongebob + Patrick=76%
HAHAHAHAHAHA

AHHHHHH! Thankful it's OVER!

2007-11-24T20:49:00.001-06:00

Yay...home again and nowhere to go tomorrow, sooooo sweet.
I did the In-laws thing on Thursday, but on Wednesday evening Hoss came home from his NaNa's feverish and vomitting, but insisted on going to Grandma's on Thanksgiving day and spending the night against my will, but he misses her so I let him, he didn't come until Friday evening and said he felt better but had a little headache. Which in my experience with that child has been headache + fever = StrepThroat ( I should probably add that this coming Monday we were to go for pre-op for his tonsilectomy on Thursday).

So today we went to my family thanksgiving which was about an hour and a half drive, he slept most of the way there and once we got there he asked to lay down, so needless to say after being there only about two hours he was too sick to stay so I missed out on the TURDucken (was a lil upset but I will overcome it I am sure) actually I missed out on all the food but I did manage to scarf down some wonderfully decorated chocolate cake, and some cheesecake ( I know I have a ill child but a gal has to do what a gal has got to do and I ate them as fast as I could). So we are running to the door, stopped to pose for a quick picture before we left ( I should also add I did not fix my hair or put on any make-up what-so-ever, but hey I had a sick child in my bed all night he woke me up 23 times to tell me he thought he was feeling better) So out the door we go, I called the Nursing home and had to the nurse call the local ER to see who was on call....Dr. O'Connor yay he is sooooooo precious and he will make my poor baby feel better I just know it! So an hour drive and we are at the hospital, I did notice that his van was not in the parking lot, but hey he is on call maybe it's been a slow day and he is at home, but surely they will call him and he will be there.....ummmmm nopers! This nice lil PA comes in and assesses my lifeless child and says well "yea he has fever, but I can't figure out where the infection is coming from" so me trying to be helpful (but I think he took it as me trying to tell him his job....was NOT my intentions, but came across that way anyway) so he says "I am gonna have a tech do some blood work for me then we will go from there" so again I open my mouth and say "Usually when he has a headache and fever its StrepThroat and he is due to have his tonsilectomy on the 29th, so how about you do a strep test first" so he reluctantly agreed but assured me his throat was "pretty and pink"sooooooo we sit and wait...ahhh finally a nurse comes in very sweet and swabs his throat and leaves ( we have had this done so many times I know that in about 10 minutes we will have the results) so I am left there watching him try to nap and thinking how nice they are, gonna wait until after the results of the swab test before they stick that baby with a needle ( I know he isn't a baby, he is 8 years old and weighs 109 lbs and is about 5 ft tall and HATES needles) Back to reality here comes a lil 4ft lab tech who might weigh 85lbs and says " I need to get a blood sample from you, so do you want me to stick your finger or take it from your arm?" In my mind I was trying to send him a telepathic message of "FINGER SAY FINGER!" so he says " My arms have blood in them take it from there" UGH!!!!
So she pulls out a needle and he begans to cry ..... quiet tears streaming off his chin...she gets closer and closer he begans to beg her not to...so I did the mean mother act....wrapped my arms around him, shoved his face in my boobs (thankful he didn't pass out) and told him to yell all he wanted just don't kick the lab tech.....YAY one stick it it was over (seemed like 20 minutes but I am sure it was more like 20 seconds). I look up and she is crying buckets too. Oh man! It was awful....so she no more then leaves the room and in comes the PA and says "Yea, your right mom, it's positive for strep, so call the surgeon on Monday and postpone the tonsilectomy and here's some antibiotics" So I thanked him and said "Ummm what was his blood count" Apparently they didn't need to run it since the swab test came back positive. Dangit!!!!

So, now I don't have the heart to tell him he will have to go back through the blood draw thingy when we do pre-op!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THANKful it's OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things to be thankful for....

2007-11-18T20:47:00.000-06:00

Well it's that time of year when you count all your blessings, eat entirely too much, and hopefully laugh too much and almost always spend to much....which all of the above are easy to do when you come from a large family, and when you are trying to adhere to a calorie count.....

Our Thanksgiving actually began at the Nursing Home on Saturday for our residents and their families, where we somehow managed to fit 200 people in the dining room that we usually crowd 60 residents in for their meals, so needless to say it was crowded, noisey and hot. But the food....oh my all the wonderful food it was awesome, I consumed so many calories that I lost count after about oh I dont know...48,000 LOL

On Thanksgiving we go to Scotty's family dinner where there are tons of food again...which stinks because his entire family on average weigh 105...so the same amount as my left boob....so seconds on Thursday? Nah I will try and pass them up .....not really I will probably go for thirds....well they wont eat it..no sense in it going to waste....lol

Then to close out the Thanksgiving week we have my family dinner, where again I will fail my diet miserably. But I will be thankful...thankful for stretch denim, thankful for elastic, thankful for my family, thankful for everything, and thankful that it will be closer to Christmas so maybe just maybe Scotty will stop giving me a hard time over having the Christmas tree up for the passed two weeks now....