Being Shot Would Just Be A Blessing!!!!!

Well it has been over two weeks since I posted....ALOT has happened since then..... I am not real sure where to start. So here goes....

Half of my readers know that Christy and I are cousins (actually she is half of my readers...of course she knows....she can't deny it either...I do have pictures to prove I have known her all my life....so just you try to deny it MISSY!!), anyway I posted that Monday of my putting Braxty-boys pants on backwards and him wearing them all day at daycare like that, on Wednesday I came down with an earache, by that Thursday I got an earache on the other side of my throbbing aching head, then I got a phone call from my devistated mother whom was crying saying my cousin was very ill, and she was on her way to be with her sister....then moments later my other aunt called hysterical, my dear, sweet, precisous, fragile (the name she commented on our blogs under) cousin, had passed away....I was so broken at that very moment, which was probably a bit selfish, because she was broken most of her life.
I couldn't ever imagine what it was like to be her, even thought I did try to imagine. Once we were little (well I wasn't ever little but I was young....Shanna-nanner...she was always little, petite...fragile) we were all at Fronteers Day, and Shanna got knocked down by a innocent kid on a bicycle, who was just out having fun, like all of us....Shanna being so fragile, broke several bones, they took her to the tiny local hospital, and she was medi-vac'd to Dallas to the Children's Hospital....she was not a stranger to the hospital, but I don't know if she had ever flown in a helicopter before, anyway, they asked her if she was scared during the flight....she told how she wasn't scared because the angels flew with her, so she wasn't scared at all. (I don't know if I told this story right, I could of even dreamed it, so forgive me if it wasn't totally factual) One thing about Shanna....she was always brave. I think alot of us are hoping she left alittle of that to us, when she passed...or maybe it's just me...because I could use some.
I went to Shanna's house after my aunt called. All I could think about was her immediate family, her husband, her dear sweet child, her parents, her sister(Christy), and her brother. I have shed many many tears since, I spent the days up to her services going to her parents house, trying to be supportive, but I am a HUGE crybaby, and totally felt like crap, as the days went on, I became more ill, becoming dizzy, and sick to my stomach (so I doubt I was supportive at all). I returned to work on Wednesday, only able to work a few hours before calling it a day and heading back home. Thursday I decided to tough it out, I had missed so much time in that week, I wanted to atleast try and tough it out....well at 4:00pm the area manager of the Nursing Home came and fired me due to low census. I have worked since I got out of high school, I feel that I have worked hard. I started out as a nurse's assistant and with in 5 years I had become a nurse, to running a nursing home. At the age of 25, running a nursing home, ( I didn't know anyone my age that even wanted to step foot in a nursing home) I had heart, and I thought that was what mattered....well apparently it does not....overhead, it's all about the almighty dollar folks.
SO this week I have been without my dsl, because my stupid PC decided to forget my dang modem.
So needless to say I have cried enough that they have lifted the burn ban in Southern Oklahoma and North Texas!
I know this is a very boring non-interesting post....maybe I will get out of my funk....maybe.