Time for a 12 Step Program.....

Well I started a diet on Tuesday, I know I said I was going to do it when I seen that hideous Easter picture, but this time it is for real. Food is an addiction just like drugs, and since you can tell by looking at the size of my ass that I am not into drugs, then my addiction to food should not be all the surprising.

I have lost so many pounds since graduating high school it's ridiculous lose ten pounds, gain twenty, lose twenty, gain thirty, then it gets to the point that you lose two and gain twenty, and this never ending cycle of ending up bigger then b4 I dieted. Which now makes me wonder why diet to begin with? There is a reason DIEt is spelled the way it is. So now the more PC term for DIEt is Lifestyle Change, because it is a life long battle, because you have to eat to live, but I live to eat. There I said it. I am accepting that my ass is as big as it looks in a picture

(even though I still can't believe it because I do not always feel fat, oh blah) anyways.....

Last year in March I decided I was going to diet and get into shape, so I joined a gym, and have being paying for this gym ever since, so Tuesday I went by there and cancelled my membership fee, because lets just face is, four trips in 17 months was not worth the monthly price. So anyway, I pull in to the gym, and before I could get out of the car this van pulled up next to me and parked so close there was no way in HELL I could squeeze out of my vehicle so I had to squeeze back in, one titty at a time and back out and pull into another spot which was like oh I don't know two miles further from the front door. So, by the time I make it to the lobby and ask to cancel my membership I was sweating, short of breath and red faced, then to throw salt in my fat wound the lady was like "Why would you want to cancel?" I could read her mind...she was thinking OBVIOUSLY YOU NEED IT SISTER!, but I just smiled, she smiled, I signed the form and was breaking for the door and I turn around and run smack into the chick that parked next to me, apparently she is an instructor there...skinny bitch...I swear.

So now there is NO way I could ever show my face at the gym again.

(raises up my bottle of water)

So here's to eating cardboard and drinking enough water that a whale could spew it out it's blow hole and hit the moon with it.

Cheerz Bitchez...even the skinny ones!